My wife has a similar problem.
Here are some guns that she is able to shoot and operate easily.
Colt Govt. .380.
Colt Mustang or Mustang +II
Keltec P32
Beretta Model 86
Personally, I'd recommend the Beretta as a starting point. It's probably the most shootable gun of the bunch. Next would be the Colt Govt. .380.
I typically recommend revolvers for beginners, but if you go that route, DON'T get a small revolver. The DA trigger pull and the recoil can be difficult to deal with for someone with hand strength issues. Go with a 4" bbl .38 like a S&W 64 or perhaps a Ruger Speed Six or Security Six. If you do think a small revolver is a good fit, PLEASE shoot one before you make the decision. My wife has found revolvers to be a very poor choice for her.
If nothing on the list above fits you, I recommend that you either go with 9mm in a full size pistol (try some to see if they work--the H&K USP is another gun my wife likes), or .380 in a relatively large pistol. The Colt .380 pistols are an exception as they have locked breech which lowers the recoil impulse.
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