*shakes head sadly*
Women are individuals, just like men are.
Just because some other woman halfway across the country likes the P239 doesn't mean your wife will.
Just because 1,643 other women like the gun doesn't mean your wife will.
If a million other women jumped off a bridge, would your wife do it too? (Sorry ... just channelling my mom there for a moment!
)
What I'm getting at is that the only opinion that really matters here is the one belonging to your wife. You need
her opinion far more than you need mine or those of anyone else in this thread.
But since you asked: I'm a lady with average sized hands, and the allegedly "small" grip of the Sig 239 is still too fat for me, making it difficult to easily reach the controls. And I've never been a particular fan of the stereotypically slappy recoil of .40 S&W from most platforms, including the P239.
Now what use was that opinion, really? Have you ever seen my hands? How do they compare in size, strength, flexibility to your wife's hands? Are hers more flexible than mine? Is her reach longer or shorter than mine? Does your wife perceive the same thing about recoil that I perceive when I pull the trigger? Does she have the same generally-negative feeling about shooting a .40 that I do? Or does she generally like it? Do I have more, or less, tolerance for perceived recoil than she does?
How would you know?
Meanwhile ...
www.corneredcat.com/FirstGun/tryongun.aspx
Follow the link for info about how to find out if a handgun fits the shooter's hands. But you'll need your wife's cooperation for that, since your hands aren't the same size as hers either.
(Oh, should add -- my husband and I have exactly the same size hands when we hold them up. But something about the way the tendons work means that I've got a slightly longer reach on a handgun than he does. Go figure!)
Hope things work out for you both.
pax