[LawDog]

Yes, it is that time of year again. The Annual Mutt Horror-a-Thon has come and gone, leaving us with lines we'd really like to hear in a horror movie.

"My name is...Dracula. Velcome to my...vere the hell did you get a flamethrower?"

"Ma'am, we are at the highest location, with a clear line-of-sight for 1,000 yards, and Earl and I can neuter gnats at 400 yards with these .300 Weatherbys."

"Before you go into that dark, scary, critter-crawling basement why don't you toss in Uncle Bubba's lucky frag grenade?"

"He sure looks dead. Whack him with the fire axe a couple a more times to make sure."

"Sir, near as we can tell, the pyscho crashed something called a 'TFL Meet', fired up his chainsaw, and wound up catching more bullets than went through the last four John Woo movies."

"Darn right I believe you, miss. I've got Ft. Bragg on the phone right now."

"Camp Crystal Lake Welcomes the National IDPA Shoot-Off!"

"You know, since the ghoulies are fixated on this one woman, why don't we put some armed men INSIDE the room where she's sleeping, instead of dinking around on the other side of the locked bedroom doors?"

"Okay, so the house told us to GET OUT. Set off the napalm, darling."

"Fire mission! Target is butcher with axe in the open, will adjust."

"Instead of sneaking around a vampire infested house after dark, why don't we blow the place with dynamite at noon?"

"Regenerate, schmegenerate. This is a Barret Light Fifty."

"Killer bats don't phase Jolene none. She's the State Sporting Clays Champeen."

"Folks, the horde of Evil Minions will be here any second. Now's your last chance to get a Horde Minion Hunting Permit."

"Father O'Bannon, I appreciate the Holy Evil-Slaying Dagger, I really do, but could you see your way into talking the Pope into blessing a Garand or three? This hand-to-hand stuff bites."



LawDog