if you fell in love and wanted to marry someone who hated guns, would you give them u

swabjocky · December 29, 2001, 06:17 PM

i dont think i would .i would try to convince her that it is a safe and enjoyable thing to do.i would respect her rights and keep a low profile with the guns.i think most people are affraid of guns because they have not been around them.

swab

**4V50 Gary** · December 29, 2001, 06:26 PM

To trade one love which is everlasting and enduring for another which may be temporary and subject to the slightest whims of change - easily I'd keep my guns.

Deadman · December 29, 2001, 06:30 PM

' To trade one love which is everlasting and enduring for another which may be temporary and subject to the slightest whims of change - easily I'd keep my guns. '

Very good point, a coworker of mine was happily married for about 4 years. All of a sudden his wife decided she would be better off as a lesbian.......
I'm not sure if they've divorced yet, but it's probably not far off.

Jim V · December 29, 2001, 06:32 PM

Yeppers, what Gary said. I'd stick to my guns, as it were. What may seem like it will last forever can be gone in the wink of a divorce lawyer's eye.

yorec · December 29, 2001, 06:33 PM

NO. I could no more give up my guns than chop off both my arms. They and thier use are a part of me - guess I'd have a hard time really loving someone who hated a part of me so much anyway...

Calamity Jane · December 29, 2001, 06:34 PM

Marriages work best when hearts, minds, and values mesh.

And for goodness' sake, make sure your spouse is your very best friend.

Mine is.

gryphon · December 29, 2001, 06:45 PM

Jane you hit it. If you love this person and they love you, then they would understand about you and firearms, and if not, they should respect the fact that you like them.

This is a major thing. It is almost as serious as she wants kids and you don't thing. But you get married anyway, she keeps insisting on the kid thing, guy has kids to appease, divorce insues, child support + alimony......

It's a bad vicious cycle. You definitely don't want to get caught up in it. I thankfully, have never been in such a situation, but know of those who have and it is not pretty!

Jay Baker · December 29, 2001, 07:14 PM

When I was single, if I had a date with some girl I even thought might become a serious relationship, I made it very plain, up front, on the first date that I owned firearms, hunted, and believed unequivocally in the unalieanable Right to self defense. That way, there was no mistaking later, my beliefs and actions. If she were applalled and disapproved, I didn't continue with the relationship

If, however, I were just out with a girl for pure enjoyment, just to get her flat and forked, then .... who cares?? Probably wouldn't see her more than once or twice, if that, again. (Los Angeles in the '60s & '70s was a GREAT place for a single dude!)

I've been happily married for 25 years; my wife just renewed her CCW for the next four years, and we are having elk steaks tonight for dinner. These have been "shinin' times!"

FWIW. J.B.

MeekAndMild · December 29, 2001, 07:54 PM

swabjocky,

I've seen people come to a lot of grief from trying to live with antis. I recall the woman 20+ years ago I met who was taking her husband to the cleaners, stripping him of everything he owned with a sympathetic judge. The sole reason for the divorce was he insisted on keeping a pistol in the house. Even in the late 70's there were liberal judges and slick lawyers who argued it was child abuse.

How can you distinguish between the person who is anti from immaturity and lack of experiance versus the one who has a serious emotional hangup? Sure, offer to take them shooting and see if they grow out of it, but don't forget time and distance are vital to the process of relationship development.

Giving them room to grow but at the same time grow AWAY if need be is vital to the relationship. Some antis will respond to the opportunity to learn and grow, others will reveal deeper seated enmotional conflicts, maybe even to the point where they turn out to be a paranoid MMM type or a femiNazi.

I think one should be honest though in expressing their own opinions. Then if the person can't agree or at least agree to give you the dignity and affirmation you need in the relationship... Hasta La Vista Babee!

As for giving up the guns? There are a lot of nice girls who believe in guns and hunting so I'd just keep looking.

Dr.Rob · December 29, 2001, 08:02 PM

Well if you are about to get married and she doesn't already KNOW you are a gun nut.. well you've been less than honest haven't you?

Communication is the key. I honestly thought I was gonna have "that" discussion with a woman I was dating when she said "I'm never having a gun in my house, ever!" (turns out she was mad about something else and KNEW that would get my attention). We didn't stay together but it wasn't over my guns.

Waitone · December 29, 2001, 08:08 PM

Never purchase a pair of shoes that pinch your foot in store. It'll only get worse. Make sure your shoes are comfortable before you pay for 'em.

Brian Gibbons · December 29, 2001, 08:11 PM

What this thread needs are more stories from those who have had their guns unjustly taken away just on the "say-so" of their spouces. I have seen it happen a couple of times. Here in Canada, it can be done with nothing more than a single phone call. Actually, it's a "1-800" number. What's more, under Canadian law, you must have the signed consent of you spouce to acquire and possess firearms. Stay single ...

flinch_of_gt · December 29, 2001, 08:13 PM

If a woman was afraid of say, sock puppets, the talking heads on "Oprah" would expect the man to try and understand her fears and live with them. But if a woman is afraid of her husband's guns, the husband MUST give up his collection. [color=#FF0000]█[/color][color=#FF0000]█[/color][color=#FF0000]█[/color]?

You can not change the other person in a relationship. If my hypothetical fiancee snores or happens to think Carrot Top is the second coming of Christ, I'm going to figure out a way to live with it. I shoot. I own ARs. At the very minimum, she is going to have to live with them. She doesn't have to shoot them, but she needs to accept that some things are not negotiable.

John E White · December 29, 2001, 08:15 PM

The Constitution and especially the 2nd Amendment has always meant more to me than any split tail. Luckily, the four women who I have been married to valued guns at least as much as I have.

Shin-Tao · December 29, 2001, 08:38 PM

Absolutely NOT!

rellik74 · December 29, 2001, 08:55 PM

When I married my wife she did not like guns, she tolerated my liking for them. Untill we awoke at 5 am. with a burgler stealing my wallet and her purse form the dresser. Well it was about 3 min. to find and load my pistol, the burgler was gone. After we replaced our drivers licence and canncled the credit cards she asked me to take her to the range so she could learn to shoot. There has been a loaded handgun near the bed since that night. About two weeks latter I bought a pistol for her. She has several pistols and a couple of rifles of her own now.It has been an enjoyable sport for both of us now, and I dont have to worrie about working nights when she is home alone. After I enroled her in a NRA basic pistol class she shoots almost as good as me

If you decide to get married she has to be tolerant of your likes

Nightcrawler · December 29, 2001, 08:58 PM

I don't suppose I've ever really been "in love", per say, but I do think that I would have difficutly being particularly emotionally attracted to someone who hated my favorite hobby.

It's like asking if a black man would marry a woman who didn't like black men. Granted, I COULD throw out all my guns, but I'd still like them, still like to shoot.

I yam what I yam. A woman that I share my life with would have to accept EVERY aspect of my personality, that included.

Waterdog · December 29, 2001, 09:12 PM

Hell!, you don't need my 2 cents.

These tales of the gun & women, have said it all.

Waterdog

Zundfolge · December 29, 2001, 09:27 PM

Chances are if she's a serious anti then she's probably going to have other annoying opinions and personality traits.

Would suck if you sold your guns and she gave the money to PETA

In my experience real liberal women are only good for one thing, and being all liberal, liberated and such they don't usually require marriage for it

Ronin 99 · December 29, 2001, 09:38 PM

Love me, love my guns. Simple as that.
Ronin

mike killian · December 29, 2001, 09:38 PM

If they say they care about you but not your guns then they really aren't in love with you anyway. Tell her to take a hike!

WAGCEVP · December 29, 2001, 10:55 PM

Hell NO!

Hemicuda · December 29, 2001, 11:26 PM

I've had GF's who tolerated the guns... and FIANLLY, this one, who has shot a few times before, and when told (on our second date) that I was a gun owner and carried daily, asked if we could go shooting...

she also likes my Jeep... (an '83 rust bucket) more than my almost new Ram 4X4...

THIS TIME I may have found a keeper!

BONUS deal: after the second date, I was at her place, and saw a stack of magazines delivered in HER name... among them were 4-wheeler, Guns & ammo, and Playboy!!!

my 3 MOST FAVORITE things to do in the ENTIRE WORLD... I may just be in LOVE!

to answer the qwuestion... TALK TO HER about guns... and if she can't accept them, then she can't accept YOU!

C.R.Sam · December 29, 2001, 11:34 PM

When in doubt....

Don't.

Sam

psssniper · December 29, 2001, 11:51 PM

my grandfather had a gun collection that filled a ROOM. he had more stuff than the average gun store that you see today. when i was about six or seven he remarried and the new wife said SELL the guns or i'm outta here.
being the oldest of only two grandsons of his two daughters guess what i lost out on!!!! and the best part?? "GRANDMA" didnt last more than a couple years. KEEP THE GUNS

December 29, 2001, 06:17 PM	#1
swabjocky Senior Member Join Date: August 27, 2001 Location: upstate sc Posts: 384	if you fell in love and wanted to marry someone who hated guns, would you give them u i dont think i would .i would try to convince her that it is a safe and enjoyable thing to do.i would respect her rights and keep a low profile with the guns.i think most people are affraid of guns because they have not been around them. swab

December 29, 2001, 06:26 PM	#2
4V50 Gary Staff Join Date: November 2, 1998 Location: Colorado Posts: 21,847	To trade one love which is everlasting and enduring for another which may be temporary and subject to the slightest whims of change - easily I'd keep my guns. __________________ Vigilantibus et non dormientibus jura subveniunt. *Molon Labe!*

December 29, 2001, 06:32 PM	#4
Jim V Senior Member Join Date: January 31, 1999 Location: SE Michigan - USA Posts: 4,038	Yeppers, what Gary said. I'd stick to my guns, as it were. What may seem like it will last forever can be gone in the wink of a divorce lawyer's eye. __________________ *MOLON LABE* If it ain't metal, single stack & single action, it ain't a 1911 no matter what it looks like. 1911 Forum THE TUBBY CURMUDGEON

December 29, 2001, 06:33 PM	#5
yorec Senior Member Join Date: February 2, 2000 Location: Wyoming Posts: 2,328	NO. I could no more give up my guns than chop off both my arms. They and thier use are a part of me - guess I'd have a hard time really loving someone who hated a part of me so much anyway... __________________ What part of "... shall not be infringed..." don't you understand?

December 29, 2001, 06:34 PM	#6
Calamity Jane Senior Member Join Date: March 13, 2001 Location: East Tennessee Posts: 899	Marriages work best when hearts, minds, and values mesh. And for goodness' sake, make sure your spouse is your very best friend. Mine is. __________________ CJ “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

December 29, 2001, 06:30 PM	#3
Deadman Senior Member Join Date: December 2, 2000 Location: Sydney Posts: 538	' To trade one love which is everlasting and enduring for another which may be temporary and subject to the slightest whims of change - easily I'd keep my guns. ' Very good point, a coworker of mine was happily married for about 4 years. All of a sudden his wife decided she would be better off as a lesbian....... I'm not sure if they've divorced yet, but it's probably not far off.

December 29, 2001, 06:45 PM	#7
gryphon Senior Member Join Date: November 21, 2000 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,069	Jane you hit it. If you love this person and they love you, then they would understand about you and firearms, and if not, they should respect the fact that you like them. This is a major thing. It is almost as serious as she wants kids and you don't thing. But you get married anyway, she keeps insisting on the kid thing, guy has kids to appease, divorce insues, child support + alimony...... It's a bad vicious cycle. You definitely don't want to get caught up in it. I thankfully, have never been in such a situation, but know of those who have and it is not pretty! __________________ Your suffering will be legendary, even in HELL!! --- PinHead, HellRaiser 2

December 29, 2001, 07:14 PM	#8
Jay Baker Senior Member Join Date: March 26, 2000 Location: S.W. Idaho Posts: 1,294	When I was single, if I had a date with some girl I even thought might become a serious relationship, I made it very plain, up front, on the first date that I owned firearms, hunted, and believed unequivocally in the unalieanable Right to self defense. That way, there was no mistaking later, my beliefs and actions. If she were applalled and disapproved, I didn't continue with the relationship If, however, I were just out with a girl for pure enjoyment, just to get her flat and forked, then .... who cares?? Probably wouldn't see her more than once or twice, if that, again. (Los Angeles in the '60s & '70s was a GREAT place for a single dude!) I've been happily married for 25 years; my wife just renewed her CCW for the next four years, and we are having elk steaks tonight for dinner. These have been "shinin' times!" FWIW. J.B.

December 29, 2001, 07:54 PM	#9
MeekAndMild Senior Member Join Date: August 2, 2001 Posts: 4,988	swabjocky, I've seen people come to a lot of grief from trying to live with antis. I recall the woman 20+ years ago I met who was taking her husband to the cleaners, stripping him of everything he owned with a sympathetic judge. The sole reason for the divorce was he insisted on keeping a pistol in the house. Even in the late 70's there were liberal judges and slick lawyers who argued it was child abuse. How can you distinguish between the person who is anti from immaturity and lack of experiance versus the one who has a serious emotional hangup? Sure, offer to take them shooting and see if they grow out of it, but don't forget time and distance are vital to the process of relationship development. Giving them room to grow but at the same time grow AWAY if need be is vital to the relationship. Some antis will respond to the opportunity to learn and grow, others will reveal deeper seated enmotional conflicts, maybe even to the point where they turn out to be a paranoid MMM type or a femiNazi. I think one should be honest though in expressing their own opinions. Then if the person can't agree or at least agree to give you the dignity and affirmation you need in the relationship... Hasta La Vista Babee! As for giving up the guns? There are a lot of nice girls who believe in guns and hunting so I'd just keep looking. __________________ In a few years when the dust finally clears and people start counting their change there is a pretty good chance that President Obama may become known as The Great Absquatulator. You heard it first here on TFL.

December 29, 2001, 08:02 PM	#10
Dr.Rob Staff Alumnus Join Date: July 28, 1999 Location: Denver Posts: 2,454	Well if you are about to get married and she doesn't already KNOW you are a gun nut.. well you've been less than honest haven't you? Communication is the key. I honestly thought I was gonna have "that" discussion with a woman I was dating when she said "I'm never having a gun in my house, ever!" (turns out she was mad about something else and KNEW that would get my attention). We didn't stay together but it wasn't over my guns. __________________ You broke into the wrong Rec Room!

December 29, 2001, 08:08 PM	#11
Waitone Senior Member Join Date: March 19, 2000 Posts: 2,904	Never purchase a pair of shoes that pinch your foot in store. It'll only get worse. Make sure your shoes are comfortable before you pay for 'em. __________________ "Given a choice between good intentions and human nature, I'll go with human nature every time."--Me, 2002.

December 29, 2001, 08:11 PM	#12
Brian Gibbons Senior Member Join Date: March 2, 2001 Posts: 388	Never .....................Ever!!! What this thread needs are more stories from those who have had their guns unjustly taken away just on the "say-so" of their spouces. I have seen it happen a couple of times. Here in Canada, it can be done with nothing more than a single phone call. Actually, it's a "1-800" number. What's more, under Canadian law, you must have the signed consent of you spouce to acquire and possess firearms. Stay single ...

December 29, 2001, 08:13 PM	#13
flinch_of_gt Senior Member Join Date: November 15, 2001 Location: Snow Bunny Country Posts: 371	If a woman was afraid of say, sock puppets, the talking heads on "Oprah" would expect the man to try and understand her fears and live with them. But if a woman is afraid of her husband's guns, the husband MUST give up his collection. [color=#FF0000]█[/color][color=#FF0000]█[/color][color=#FF0000]█[/color]? You can not change the other person in a relationship. If my hypothetical fiancee snores or happens to think Carrot Top is the second coming of Christ, I'm going to figure out a way to live with it. I shoot. I own ARs. At the very minimum, she is going to have to live with them. She doesn't have to shoot them, but she needs to accept that some things are not negotiable. __________________ "If Plan A is taking multiple .308 hits to the back, I suggest a Plan B."

December 29, 2001, 08:15 PM	#14
John E White Junior Member Join Date: December 27, 2001 Posts: 12	2nd Amendment The Constitution and especially the 2nd Amendment has always meant more to me than any split tail. Luckily, the four women who I have been married to valued guns at least as much as I have.

December 29, 2001, 08:38 PM	#15
Shin-Tao Senior Member Join Date: January 27, 2000 Posts: 1,528	Absolutely NOT! __________________ SPQR

December 29, 2001, 08:55 PM	#16
rellik74 Senior Member Join Date: July 3, 2000 Location: Trinidad, Co. , USA Posts: 225	When I married my wife she did not like guns, she tolerated my liking for them. Untill we awoke at 5 am. with a burgler stealing my wallet and her purse form the dresser. Well it was about 3 min. to find and load my pistol, the burgler was gone. After we replaced our drivers licence and canncled the credit cards she asked me to take her to the range so she could learn to shoot. There has been a loaded handgun near the bed since that night. About two weeks latter I bought a pistol for her. She has several pistols and a couple of rifles of her own now.It has been an enjoyable sport for both of us now, and I dont have to worrie about working nights when she is home alone. After I enroled her in a NRA basic pistol class she shoots almost as good as me If you decide to get married she has to be tolerant of your likes

December 29, 2001, 08:58 PM	#17
Nightcrawler Senior Member Join Date: September 22, 2000 Location: Northern Michigan Posts: 2,945	I don't suppose I've ever really been "in love", per say, but I do think that I would have difficutly being particularly emotionally attracted to someone who hated my favorite hobby. It's like asking if a black man would marry a woman who didn't like black men. Granted, I COULD throw out all my guns, but I'd still like them, still like to shoot. I yam what I yam. A woman that I share my life with would have to accept EVERY aspect of my personality, that included. __________________ Nightcrawler- TFL Alumnus

December 29, 2001, 09:12 PM	#18
Waterdog Junior member Join Date: January 6, 2000 Location: AZ Posts: 1,236	Hell!, you don't need my 2 cents. These tales of the gun & women, have said it all. Waterdog

December 29, 2001, 09:27 PM	#19
Zundfolge Senior Member Join Date: July 28, 2001 Location: Colorado Springs Posts: 1,749	Chances are if she's a serious anti then she's probably going to have other annoying opinions and personality traits. Would suck if you sold your guns and she gave the money to PETA In my experience real liberal women are only good for one thing, and being all liberal, liberated and such they don't usually require marriage for it __________________ "There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws...you create a nation of law-breakers â€“ and then you cash in on guilt." Ayn Rand

December 29, 2001, 09:38 PM	#20
Ronin 99 Senior Member Join Date: January 23, 2000 Location: NY Posts: 521	Love me, love my guns. Simple as that. Ronin __________________ NRA/GOA/GOTF "Send Them Back to the Light"

December 29, 2001, 09:38 PM	#21
mike killian Member Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: MICHIGAN Posts: 91	marry an anti If they say they care about you but not your guns then they really aren't in love with you anyway. Tell her to take a hike! __________________ killjoy NRA LIFER MCRGO CPL HOLDER Neca eos omnes. Deus suos agnoset

December 29, 2001, 10:55 PM	#22
WAGCEVP Senior Member Join Date: August 13, 2000 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,989	Hell NO!

December 29, 2001, 11:26 PM	#23
Hemicuda Senior Member Join Date: September 13, 2001 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,757	I've had GF's who tolerated the guns... and FIANLLY, this one, who has shot a few times before, and when told (on our second date) that I was a gun owner and carried daily, asked if we could go shooting... she also likes my Jeep... (an '83 rust bucket) more than my almost new Ram 4X4... THIS TIME I may have found a keeper! BONUS deal: after the second date, I was at her place, and saw a stack of magazines delivered in HER name... among them were 4-wheeler, Guns & ammo, and Playboy!!! my 3 MOST FAVORITE things to do in the ENTIRE WORLD... I may just be in LOVE! to answer the qwuestion... TALK TO HER about guns... and if she can't accept them, then she can't accept YOU! __________________ Hemi. gun and car collector. Rare cars, and rarer guns.

December 29, 2001, 11:34 PM	#24
C.R.Sam Senior Member Join Date: October 29, 1999 Location: Dewey, AZ Posts: 12,858	When in doubt.... Don't. Sam

December 29, 2001, 11:51 PM	#25
psssniper Senior Member Join Date: October 9, 2001 Posts: 186	my grandfather had a gun collection that filled a ROOM. he had more stuff than the average gun store that you see today. when i was about six or seven he remarried and the new wife said SELL the guns or i'm outta here. being the oldest of only two grandsons of his two daughters guess what i lost out on!!!! and the best part?? "GRANDMA" didnt last more than a couple years. KEEP THE GUNS