Anyone keep CCW a secret from children?

LoadIt · November 20, 2006, 02:33 PM

I was in my truck with my Dad a couple of weekends ago on our way out to set up our deer stands when my Dad asked me if I had been doing anything about taking advantage of my states new concealed carry law. My 10 year old son was in the back seat and I very abruptly said "No". End of conversation.

My circumstance for saying "no" is a bit unique, however. At the time, I was about two weeks away from a court date to try and gain sole custody of my son. The parenting order that I was under even said I was not allowed to let my son use firearms. And I didn't want any unnessesary information getting back to his mom for obvious reasons. Anyway, I went to court, his mother didn't, and now I have sole custody and can take my son shooting again.

To get back on topic, I was wondering if I should let my son know if I decide to CCW. Kids go to school and talk to friends. I would rather teachers and parents of the friends not know if I carry. What would you do?

mete · November 20, 2006, 02:40 PM

At 10 years old he's old enough to understand that there are things that should be kept quiet ,and private. There are important reasons for not mentioning that you carry and he should be able to understand them .He'd find out anyway so educate him !!

wolfsong · November 20, 2006, 02:50 PM

In my opinion, and with my experiance raising my children and introducing my grandson to firearms, I think secrecy only entices the little ones more when they do stumble on to the truth. Educate them early, let them get their facination and curiosity out of the way at a young age. Guns are tools, like most every thing else. Teach them well, teach them safe and always secure your guns away from curious young hands. Family secrets do more damage than being open and honest, IMHO. Besides, young strong bodies are real handy when gathering firewood at deer camp, hauling your game back to camp, peeling rabbits and squirrels, plucking dove, quail and ducks, cleaning your guns, and hauling all the stuff to and from the shooting range. So get them involved early and be thorough in their education. Unfortunately, CCW is more of a neccessity than a luxury in today's America. Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.

AirForceShooter · November 20, 2006, 02:55 PM

Start his education today.
The 4 rules. Keeping quiet about you even having guns and not telling his friends.
Get him out with a .22 rifle.
Take the mystery and fear out of it.

Have fun with him.

AFS

ralphb72 · November 20, 2006, 03:01 PM

They (4 & 6) have held my weapons in my presence, and the older one of them noticed me carrying the other day and asked me if I had my pistol. I told him I most always carry it and he said, ok when are we eating supper, I'm Hungry.

LoadIt · November 20, 2006, 03:17 PM

My son knows I have firearms and knows that I keep them locked up in the safe. I even locked up my HD weapon when my son moved in with me last year. I had taken him to a Department of Conservation rifle range shooting a .22lr when he was 8 yrs old. He knows not to touch a firearm, or even his BB gun, when I am not around. He also knows that if he is at a friends house and sees a gun to not touch it. He wants me to take him hunting with me all of the time and wants to take the Hunters Safety Course even though it doesn't count at his age. (14yrs is earliest age to get the card)

I know education is best, but I guess I just need to know how to educate my son about CCW. Do CCW certification classes help to educate me to educate my family?

wolfsong · November 20, 2006, 04:05 PM

Dear LoadIt, my ccw class covered some basics about informing thegeneral public that you carry, and generally we were encouraged to keep that info to ourselves. So our class didn't specifically address the issue that you bring up. But the instructor was very good about fielding and answering any and all questions that weren't on his lesson planner. I appreciate your concerns, however I don't see concealed carrying as much of an issue in regards to your children. It shouldn't be any more dramatic than wearing your wrist watch. First make the kids comfortable around guns, and then go about your business. I wish more gun owners were as consciencous as you. If more people gave attention to the small details, those details would most likely never become big issues. Keep up the good work. Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.

hpg · November 20, 2006, 06:56 PM

It depends on how mature he is for his age. Youngsters like to brag about their fathers guns and such. It's a peer pressure, trying to get one up on my friends, kinda thing. I have 2 sons, I know all about it. If in doubt keep it quiet for a couple more years.....hpg

WSM MAGNUM · November 20, 2006, 06:58 PM

I would tell him about it. Like some have said, educate him on shooting sports and personal defense. As far as his teacher and other people knowing you have a CCW, screw them. Hopefully they will realize the good of having a CCW rather than stereotyping you.

tony pasley · November 20, 2006, 08:02 PM

I raised my children and they knew dad carried, but to not to talk out it. They knew that the schools did not like guns and not to fill out any surveys at school. I sent a letter to the school board that any surveys had to be sent home to be filled out, and my children could not take part in any verbal surveys. The schools have many surveys they want children to answer without parental knowledge most questions have nothing to do with education, but about what family members do. Questions like, does any one smoke, does any one drink wine or beer, does any one have a gun, do your parents fight, IMO these questions are to prying and have no business in schools. Be your own judge of what the children are to tell at school.

UniversalFrost · November 20, 2006, 08:58 PM

You really need to look at your kids maturity level. I have daughters and they are both very mature for their ages, but my nephews who are 10 and 12 are about as immature as they come. Also I agree that your son needs to become gun oriented before being told all the "secrets". Safety and proper handling are paramount in starting him out on the right steps. We don't need another yahoo running around with zero unsafe handling ingrained into them from an early age.

The best thing to do is teach him safety and if you hunt teach him how to recognize when not to take the shot is more important than when to take the shot. Happy shooting.

Fremmer · November 20, 2006, 10:27 PM

Quote:

The parenting order that I was under even said I was not allowed to let my son use firearms.

That's a terrible temporary order/parenting plan provision. Who the heck drafted that? Let me guess: someone made an issue out of a non-issue. Gotta love domestic law.

Don't keep secrets from kids about guns. If you keep it a secret, it'll be a big deal when he finds out the truth. If you are honest with him about it, it won't be a big deal.

marlboroman84 · November 21, 2006, 06:49 AM

I don't have kids yet, but I only told the people I hang out with regularly, as they would figure it out eventually anyhow. Most of my group of friends and family carry anyway, the ones that don't are pro-gun. I live in a pretty gun friendly state anyway, so I don't put to much thought into concealing it from everyone. I don't go blabbing either.

Edward429451 · November 21, 2006, 11:43 AM

No I didn't keep it secret from my kids. I'll never forget that day at the zoo when the bear appeared from the den and one of them yelled "There he is dad got your 44?!!!!!" in front of a big crowd of people.

Musketeer · November 21, 2006, 12:38 PM

I would say it depends on the area you are in and the maturity of the child. I live in a liberal saturated area where the knowledge of CCW would cause numerous problems. With two children that are very young I prefer to not even broach the subject. Frankly the wife usually doesn't notice if I am unless she sees me dressing. (lots of SmartCarry and Tuckable use).

I don't need it being mentioned to a pre-K teacher or other parent. It is none of their business what I legally carry.

Given my area I could see me revealing my carry habits when my children are ready to go off to college or possibly when they are 16. There is no reason for them to know otherwise, just like what goes on in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom some things are private.

I do agree with fully farmiliarizing the kids with the guns and allowing them supervised acces to remove the "mistique." They just don't need to know dad is packing at Chuck-E-Cheese.

Musketeer · November 21, 2006, 12:39 PM

Quote:

I'll never forget that day at the zoo when the bear appeared from the den and one of them yelled "There he is dad got your 44?!!!!!" in front of a big crowd of people.

That would be exactly the scenario I would want to avoid.

LoadIt · November 21, 2006, 01:37 PM

Maybe I should inform my son that it is legal for good citizens to carry to protect themselves and their family and see if he has any questions?

I really doubt that I would feel the need to carry when my son is around, but you never know. If I decide to get the license, I would probably only carry to and from work since I leave work after midnight. I would also feel safer on payday when I deposit my check in the ATM at 1:00 in the morning. The same time that the drunks are leaving the bars.

Edward429451 · November 21, 2006, 01:46 PM

An even worse scenario would be if you had a military smoke bomb and the kids knew and got mad at a schoolmate and yelled at them I'll blow you up with daddys grenade. Happened to a friend of mine. Dual felonies when you know who showed up at the door. Granted, the wife was too dumb to say no but the kids brought it on.

UniversalFrost · November 21, 2006, 03:11 PM

Just having unexploded ordanance around is stupid. Things like that go bad over time and will hurt some body some day. With a grenade it has no place in a home, only on a battle field. serves him right to go to jail. What the heck was he planning on doing with a grenade anyway? Just plain stupid.

ralphb72 · November 21, 2006, 03:15 PM

"it is legal for good citizens to carry to protect themselves and their family "

I really like that and probably will use it myself...

"I really doubt that I would feel the need to carry when my son is around, but you never know."

Protecting the kids is the main reason why i got my PER-mit (as we say in IN), depends on where you go with your kids etc. We take walks alot in the summer and I got cornered in an alley by a pit bull mix dog and had 4 kids with me. 2 Sons, 1 Grandson, and one Niece. I had nothing, and luckily he didnt want to wrestle with me that day. That will NEVER happen again.

I don't broadcast it to the kids, but I don't hide it eigther.

Reloader · November 22, 2006, 05:12 PM

can't be done. too risky to hide the fact. It's better to show and tell them it's your secret.

Dave R · November 22, 2006, 05:58 PM

In most cases, I think its a "level of disclosure" issue.

First, you did the right thing with your Dad and the court case.

Second, I think its OK for kids, depending on age, to know that you carry. I don't think they need to know all the details about what, how often, how, etc.

smince · November 22, 2006, 06:56 PM

I really don't think you can keep it from your kid(s) if you spend ANY amount of time around them. They tend to notice all sorts of things.

My son is used to me carrying a CCW. When he wanted to know what was in the "secret compartment" of his mother's Coronado Leather purse, we showed him her Colt .380 Gov't. Model and he was satisfied with that. Not another mention of it after that.

rangermonroe · November 22, 2006, 09:22 PM

With me and mine, it has never been any secret.

Haven't been worried about teachers either, as my son is quite proud of his hunting daddy. He drew pictures in school depicting deer deaths and smiling "big stick figure/little stick figure, both smiling". Not a mystery to the teachers of how we bond.

"does your dad have guns?"
"yes, lots of them."
"how does that make you feel?"
"Jealous, because I only have 3"

I am, however concerned over this statement:

Quote:

Just having unexploded ordanance around is stupid. Things like that go bad over time and will hurt some body some day. With a grenade it has no place in a home, only on a battle field. serves him right to go to jail. What the heck was he planning on doing with a grenade anyway? Just plain stupid.

When is a smoke grenade considered " a bomb"? Why would someone belong in jail for possessing the same? They are standard issue in 'life rafts'.

They do not go 'bad' over time.

Dave R · November 22, 2006, 11:21 PM

Quote:

I really don't think you can keep it from your kid(s) if you spend ANY amount of time around them. They tend to notice all sorts of things.

Maybe my kids are dumb, or maybe I conceal better, but they rarely know when I'm carrying. Of course, with a P-3AT in a pocket holster, you can do all the rides in the park and no one would know you're carrying.

November 20, 2006, 02:33 PM	#1
LoadIt Senior Member Join Date: June 7, 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 269	Anyone keep CCW a secret from children? I was in my truck with my Dad a couple of weekends ago on our way out to set up our deer stands when my Dad asked me if I had been doing anything about taking advantage of my states new concealed carry law. My 10 year old son was in the back seat and I very abruptly said "No". End of conversation. My circumstance for saying "no" is a bit unique, however. At the time, I was about two weeks away from a court date to try and gain sole custody of my son. The parenting order that I was under even said I was not allowed to let my son use firearms. And I didn't want any unnessesary information getting back to his mom for obvious reasons. Anyway, I went to court, his mother didn't, and now I have sole custody and can take my son shooting again. To get back on topic, I was wondering if I should let my son know if I decide to CCW. Kids go to school and talk to friends. I would rather teachers and parents of the friends not know if I carry. What would you do?

November 20, 2006, 03:01 PM	#5
ralphb72 Member Join Date: October 24, 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 22	little boys They (4 & 6) have held my weapons in my presence, and the older one of them noticed me carrying the other day and asked me if I had my pistol. I told him I most always carry it and he said, ok when are we eating supper, I'm Hungry.

November 20, 2006, 06:56 PM	#8
hpg Senior Member Join Date: September 14, 2002 Location: in the Bluegrass State Posts: 1,610	It depends on how mature he is for his age. Youngsters like to brag about their fathers guns and such. It's a peer pressure, trying to get one up on my friends, kinda thing. I have 2 sons, I know all about it. If in doubt keep it quiet for a couple more years.....hpg __________________ NRA member Semper Paratus

November 20, 2006, 06:58 PM	#9
WSM MAGNUM Senior Member Join Date: September 30, 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 750	I would tell him about it. Like some have said, educate him on shooting sports and personal defense. As far as his teacher and other people knowing you have a CCW, screw them. Hopefully they will realize the good of having a CCW rather than stereotyping you. __________________ Henry - Life NRA Member, USCCA Shield Member If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

November 20, 2006, 08:58 PM	#11
UniversalFrost Senior Member Join Date: February 20, 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,300	You really need to look at your kids maturity level. I have daughters and they are both very mature for their ages, but my nephews who are 10 and 12 are about as immature as they come. Also I agree that your son needs to become gun oriented before being told all the "secrets". Safety and proper handling are paramount in starting him out on the right steps. We don't need another yahoo running around with zero unsafe handling ingrained into them from an early age. The best thing to do is teach him safety and if you hunt teach him how to recognize when not to take the shot is more important than when to take the shot. Happy shooting. __________________ Lifetime member VFW and NRA "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati" (when all else fails play dead) -Red Green

November 20, 2006, 02:40 PM	#2
mete Senior Member Join Date: June 14, 2004 Location: NY State Posts: 6,575	At 10 years old he's old enough to understand that there are things that should be kept quiet ,and private. There are important reasons for not mentioning that you carry and he should be able to understand them .He'd find out anyway so educate him !!

November 20, 2006, 02:50 PM	#3
wolfsong Member Join Date: September 19, 2006 Posts: 89	In my opinion, and with my experiance raising my children and introducing my grandson to firearms, I think secrecy only entices the little ones more when they do stumble on to the truth. Educate them early, let them get their facination and curiosity out of the way at a young age. Guns are tools, like most every thing else. Teach them well, teach them safe and always secure your guns away from curious young hands. Family secrets do more damage than being open and honest, IMHO. Besides, young strong bodies are real handy when gathering firewood at deer camp, hauling your game back to camp, peeling rabbits and squirrels, plucking dove, quail and ducks, cleaning your guns, and hauling all the stuff to and from the shooting range. So get them involved early and be thorough in their education. Unfortunately, CCW is more of a neccessity than a luxury in today's America. Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.

November 20, 2006, 02:55 PM	#4
AirForceShooter Senior Member Join Date: December 21, 2005 Location: Sarasota (sort of) Florida Posts: 1,296	Start his education today. The 4 rules. Keeping quiet about you even having guns and not telling his friends. Get him out with a .22 rifle. Take the mystery and fear out of it. Have fun with him. AFS

November 20, 2006, 03:17 PM	#6
LoadIt Senior Member Join Date: June 7, 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 269	My son knows I have firearms and knows that I keep them locked up in the safe. I even locked up my HD weapon when my son moved in with me last year. I had taken him to a Department of Conservation rifle range shooting a .22lr when he was 8 yrs old. He knows not to touch a firearm, or even his BB gun, when I am not around. He also knows that if he is at a friends house and sees a gun to not touch it. He wants me to take him hunting with me all of the time and wants to take the Hunters Safety Course even though it doesn't count at his age. (14yrs is earliest age to get the card) I know education is best, but I guess I just need to know how to educate my son about CCW. Do CCW certification classes help to educate me to educate my family?

November 20, 2006, 04:05 PM	#7
wolfsong Member Join Date: September 19, 2006 Posts: 89	Dear LoadIt, my ccw class covered some basics about informing thegeneral public that you carry, and generally we were encouraged to keep that info to ourselves. So our class didn't specifically address the issue that you bring up. But the instructor was very good about fielding and answering any and all questions that weren't on his lesson planner. I appreciate your concerns, however I don't see concealed carrying as much of an issue in regards to your children. It shouldn't be any more dramatic than wearing your wrist watch. First make the kids comfortable around guns, and then go about your business. I wish more gun owners were as consciencous as you. If more people gave attention to the small details, those details would most likely never become big issues. Keep up the good work. Peace and God bless, Wolfsong.

November 20, 2006, 08:02 PM	#10
tony pasley Senior Member Join Date: April 13, 2006 Location: western north carolina Posts: 1,641	I raised my children and they knew dad carried, but to not to talk out it. They knew that the schools did not like guns and not to fill out any surveys at school. I sent a letter to the school board that any surveys had to be sent home to be filled out, and my children could not take part in any verbal surveys. The schools have many surveys they want children to answer without parental knowledge most questions have nothing to do with education, but about what family members do. Questions like, does any one smoke, does any one drink wine or beer, does any one have a gun, do your parents fight, IMO these questions are to prying and have no business in schools. Be your own judge of what the children are to tell at school.

November 21, 2006, 06:49 AM	#13
marlboroman84 Senior Member Join Date: March 20, 2006 Location: Memphis,TN Posts: 541	I don't have kids yet, but I only told the people I hang out with regularly, as they would figure it out eventually anyhow. Most of my group of friends and family carry anyway, the ones that don't are pro-gun. I live in a pretty gun friendly state anyway, so I don't put to much thought into concealing it from everyone. I don't go blabbing either. __________________ Ban Liberals, not guns! ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE (mo-lone lah-veh)

November 21, 2006, 11:43 AM	#14
Edward429451 Junior member Join Date: November 12, 2000 Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado Posts: 9,494	No I didn't keep it secret from my kids. I'll never forget that day at the zoo when the bear appeared from the den and one of them yelled "There he is dad got your 44?!!!!!" in front of a big crowd of people.

November 21, 2006, 12:38 PM	#15
Musketeer Senior Member Join Date: September 12, 2005 Posts: 3,733	I would say it depends on the area you are in and the maturity of the child. I live in a liberal saturated area where the knowledge of CCW would cause numerous problems. With two children that are very young I prefer to not even broach the subject. Frankly the wife usually doesn't notice if I am unless she sees me dressing. (lots of SmartCarry and Tuckable use). I don't need it being mentioned to a pre-K teacher or other parent. It is none of their business what I legally carry. Given my area I could see me revealing my carry habits when my children are ready to go off to college or possibly when they are 16. There is no reason for them to know otherwise, just like what goes on in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom some things are private. I do agree with fully farmiliarizing the kids with the guns and allowing them supervised acces to remove the "mistique." They just don't need to know dad is packing at Chuck-E-Cheese.

November 21, 2006, 01:37 PM	#17
LoadIt Senior Member Join Date: June 7, 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 269	Maybe I should inform my son that it is legal for good citizens to carry to protect themselves and their family and see if he has any questions? I really doubt that I would feel the need to carry when my son is around, but you never know. If I decide to get the license, I would probably only carry to and from work since I leave work after midnight. I would also feel safer on payday when I deposit my check in the ATM at 1:00 in the morning. The same time that the drunks are leaving the bars.

November 21, 2006, 01:46 PM	#18
Edward429451 Junior member Join Date: November 12, 2000 Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado Posts: 9,494	An even worse scenario would be if you had a military smoke bomb and the kids knew and got mad at a schoolmate and yelled at them I'll blow you up with daddys grenade. Happened to a friend of mine. Dual felonies when you know who showed up at the door. Granted, the wife was too dumb to say no but the kids brought it on.

November 21, 2006, 03:11 PM	#19
UniversalFrost Senior Member Join Date: February 20, 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,300	Just having unexploded ordanance around is stupid. Things like that go bad over time and will hurt some body some day. With a grenade it has no place in a home, only on a battle field. serves him right to go to jail. What the heck was he planning on doing with a grenade anyway? Just plain stupid. __________________ Lifetime member VFW and NRA "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati" (when all else fails play dead) -Red Green

November 21, 2006, 03:15 PM	#20
ralphb72 Member Join Date: October 24, 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 22	"it is legal for good citizens to carry to protect themselves and their family " I really like that and probably will use it myself... "I really doubt that I would feel the need to carry when my son is around, but you never know." Protecting the kids is the main reason why i got my PER-mit (as we say in IN), depends on where you go with your kids etc. We take walks alot in the summer and I got cornered in an alley by a pit bull mix dog and had 4 kids with me. 2 Sons, 1 Grandson, and one Niece. I had nothing, and luckily he didnt want to wrestle with me that day. That will NEVER happen again. I don't broadcast it to the kids, but I don't hide it eigther.

November 22, 2006, 05:12 PM	#21
Reloader Senior Member Join Date: December 29, 1998 Location: Onalaska Tx, USA Posts: 116	can't be done. too risky to hide the fact. It's better to show and tell them it's your secret.

November 22, 2006, 05:58 PM	#22
Dave R Senior Member Join Date: January 7, 2000 Location: Idaho Posts: 6,073	In most cases, I think its a "level of disclosure" issue. First, you did the right thing with your Dad and the court case. Second, I think its OK for kids, depending on age, to know that you carry. I don't think they need to know all the details about what, how often, how, etc. __________________ I am Pro-Rights (on gun issues).

November 22, 2006, 06:56 PM	#23
smince Junior member Join Date: October 9, 2004 Location: Northeast Alabama Posts: 2,580	I really don't think you can keep it from your kid(s) if you spend ANY amount of time around them. They tend to notice all sorts of things. My son is used to me carrying a CCW. When he wanted to know what was in the "secret compartment" of his mother's Coronado Leather purse, we showed him her Colt .380 Gov't. Model and he was satisfied with that. Not another mention of it after that.