Lines I'd like to hear in a horror movie someday... - Page 4

buzz_knox · February 4, 2002, 04:05 PM

"Fire mission!"

"OP! reporting massed group of goblins at coordinates ______."

"Load ICM. Battery 1 . . . fire!"

"Adjust fire and fire for effect!"

"Targets neutralized!"

How about this one:

"Col. Cooper, there are goblins outside!"

"What?! Miscreants are approaching my ranch and intending to do foul deeds towards my students? How outrageous!"

"No, Col. I mean there are goblins."

"Yes, yes. I know. Miscreants."

"No, you old fart. There are actual, green, fanged, scaly, axe wielding goblins running like hell for the gates!"

"Well, bring me my scout rifle!"

"A bolt action rifle for a massed attack of demonic infantry? Get real! I'm going to the Dillon ranch to see if I can borrow the miniguns!"

striderteen · February 4, 2002, 05:18 PM

Quote:

"There are actual, green, fanged, scaly, axe wielding goblins running like hell for the gates!"

Me: "Oh boy!! Open up the arsenal, it's party time! Arm the claymores and Bouncing Bettys! Get the attack helicopters warmed up! Roll the BMP-3s and the T-90s! Snipers to the roof, everyone else to the windows and doors!"

D.W. Drang · February 4, 2002, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Roll the BMP-3s and the T-90s!

Dooode, like, I know you, like, live in a socialist stae and stuff, but the Guru don't 'low no WarPact AFVs 'round here!

biere · February 5, 2002, 07:03 PM

For almost everyone of these:

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE PREPARED FOR!

And here is a list of addresses for everyone who voted for gore. After killing them you can go after republicans.

ATTICUS · February 5, 2002, 08:06 PM

The new Jody Foster "Safe room" movie would last one minute...."Dammit, she's got an AR with a beta mag...let's go."

Brett Bellmore · February 5, 2002, 08:36 PM

All I can say is, you guys have GOT to read the Bureau 13 novels by Nick Polletta.

Bureau 13 : #1 Judgment Night

Bureau 13: Doomsday Exam

Full Moonster

Sadly out of print, but worth reading if you can find them. Bureau 13 is the secret branch of the FBI in charge of fighting supernatural threats.

baldangel · February 5, 2002, 08:59 PM

Boudreaux to Thibodeaux while successfully holding off a zombie attack with thier favorite 12 gauges.

"Thib!, I heard dat those zombie ar good in a gumbo!"

Mark D · February 5, 2002, 09:09 PM

This came to mind every time I watched critters/gremlins/living dead etc...

Ooooohhh... I'm so scared... Oh, by the way. D'all y'all fanged, scaly critters realize yer standing in a big ole pool of gasoline?

Every movie that ever deals with an undead villan...

Yes, I understand that we can't kill him, but I don't think he's going to be able to do much to us without some form of locomotion. Now go over there and pick up his legs while I collect his arms. And I don't ever want to hear you complain about me carrying two 44 magnums again.

nsf003 · February 5, 2002, 09:36 PM

Awesome thread! I almost pissed myself laughing.

I'm not very witty, so i won't be adding much.

Keep 'em coming!

nsf003

Fred Hansen · February 6, 2002, 02:01 AM

"NO! NO! NO! You idiot! You brought me all the way out into the desert for this? That's not the Mummy, it's Sarah Brady for #%*@$& sake!"

Mark Jones · February 6, 2002, 02:48 PM

Quote:

"Instead of sneaking around a vampire infested house after dark, why don't we blow the place with dynamite at noon?"

Read _Vampire$_ by John Steakley. It's about a team of vampire hunters and it starts in the middle of the action with the team clearing out a nest of vampires. They demolish the house in broad daylight, and then use construction equipment to sift through the rubble until they uncover a (smoking/flaming) vampire, which they then impale on big-ass wooden spears launched from big-ass crossbows. They're also wearing chainmail armor for all this....

Quote:

"Ma'am, we are at the highest location, with a clear line-of-sight for 1,000 yards, and Earl and I can neuter gnats at 400 yards with these .300 Weatherbys."

Watch the movies _Tremors_, _Tremors II_ and _Tremors III_ if you haven't seen them. One of the major characters in all three movies is a survivalist with a huge arsenal of weapons. The other characters rib him a bit early in the first movie, but at one point one of them says (after Burt, the survivalist, successfully kills one of the monsters) "I guess this means we can't make fun of Burt's lifestyle anymore...."

They're fun (good) movies. Other TFL appropriate lines:

"Broke into the wrong g*dd*** rec room, didn't you, you SOB!" (Burt to a dead monster.

"What's this?" Someone asks Burt as they're building pipe bombs.
"Cannon fuse."
"What the hell do you use it for?"
"My _cannon_."

striderteen · February 6, 2002, 03:13 PM

Burt...he's the one with that big-ass .50-cal rifle, right?

MrAcheson · August 14, 2002, 03:09 PM

Depends which movie, in Tremors I, he uses a Holland and Holland .60 caliber elephant gun (among other things, the rec room scene is great and involved many guns). In Tremors II, I believe his main gun is a Maadi Griffen in .50 BMG. Haven't seen Tremors III yet.

"What are these?" Burt hands the kid a pipe bomb. "Just a few household chemicals in the proper proportions."

cslinger · August 14, 2002, 03:56 PM

I can't help but thinking of the previews where she is asking them over some kind of intercom what they want and they write we want what's in the room.

"My reply would have been I'll be out as soon as I am done loading, just meet me on the other side of the door."

Never saw the movie but Geeezzz that movie peeved me. 600,000 dollars for an impenitrable "SAFE" room and you can't spend $250 on a nice Remington 870 and $15 bucks on the Walmart 100 round special. Hello least you could have told them was you were heavily armed and if they get through the door they were getting a hands on anatomy class.

Ironbarr · December 28, 2002, 06:36 PM

In other words - Situational Awareness, huh?

seeker_two · December 29, 2002, 12:00 AM

Occult mythology used to be a hobby of mine. FYI, silver kills ANYTHING UNDEAD & SUPERNATURAL (vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc.) And silver bullets would be very useful...

Decapitation very useful too. A katana to back up your silver-tipped bullets would be comforting...

Thanks for bringing this thread back up...

Johnny Guest · December 29, 2002, 05:10 PM

Younger Son, while not nearly so into the shooting sports as his brother and dad, is not without awareness. He asked if I'd seen "The Safe Room," and I said I wasn't too interestred after seeing the previews. He said, "R-i-i-g-ht. They spend heaven knows how much on that room, and all I can think when the stuff hits is, "Shotgun. SHOTGUN! Where's the flippin' SHOTGUN???"

Best,
Johnny

TheLastBoyScout · December 29, 2002, 05:41 PM

Quote:

"What's this?"... "Cannon fuse."
"What the hell do you use it for?"
"My _cannon_."

Did anyone else think of that picture of Runt and the giant shell casing when they read this?

MAKOwner · December 30, 2002, 01:38 AM

Line I'd like to see in a horror movie: "Bet you wish you owned a firearm or 5 now don't ya nancy-boy?" This right after the liberal bitch gets nawed on after being unarmed and the gun owner hero (Lets call him Burt...) who says the line saves his own life repeatedly...

biere · December 30, 2002, 06:10 PM

Eight Legged Freaks has some fun points in it about guns and what not. And who can resist giant spiders.

I always wanted to see a posse being formed and for there to be requirments for the guns brought.

Detachable magazines with 20 rounds or more capacity. Lots of spares. Larger calibers. Back up gun and a back up for the back up. Actually, just list what they banned on rifles to make a point.

And about that picture of a shell with Runt of the litter by it, isn't that shell almost big enough we could just launch an armed runt into the problem area and let her solve the problem? Reading that post about how many guns you can conceal gave me that idea.

JackNKoch · December 31, 2002, 09:51 PM

While holding Beretta 92FS in one hand and Colt 1911A1 in the other

six 4 sure "Whadda ya think...16 rounds of 9mm or 8 rounds of .45?"

JackNKoch "Grab'em both...and plenty of mags. We're gonna end this s__t once and for all."

six 4 sure " Chupacabra goat-sucker test?"

JackNKoch "Yeah. Hey, do the Talons or the Gold Dots do better in 16,000-pound-flesh-eating-jello?"

six 4 sure "I just hope there's a trace of silver in these Silvertips."

Preacherman · May 18, 2004, 08:15 PM

Quote:

A katana to back up your silver-tipped bullets would be comforting...

Perhaps a silver katana with a monofilament edge?

FF1090 · May 19, 2004, 06:49 AM

Anyone remember the seventies/eighties flick "The Comet", with a young Leia Thompson? Another typical zombie flick. The young folk have been given MAC11's by the Army guy, and the hip spoiled younger sister sniffs: "Daddy would have given us UZIs!"
Bwahahaha! I always liked that line.

I loved the movie "Dawn of the Dead", with the clueless folks holed up in the Mall, fighting off both killer zombies and crazed Bikers. A laugh riot.
Best scene - the "hunters" on the hill, head-shooting the zombies staggering across the field, using their deer rifles. What a hoot!

Destro · May 19, 2004, 12:01 PM

"What's that? Jason Vorhees is running loose again? Alert all artillery, all tanks, all planes!" The general says. "You TFL members have the right idea!"

Freddy Kruger running into a TFL meet..... Nightmare at the Firing Range.

Count Dracula: Where on Earth did you get a Stinger missile?

A horror movie without tanks and planes isn't much of horror movie.

Forget Van Helsing, Meet Gunny Emery and his M48 Tank!

JohnK · May 19, 2004, 12:28 PM

Quote:

"Sir, near as we can tell, the pyscho crashed something called a 'TFL Meet', fired up his chainsaw, and wound up catching more bullets than went through the last four John Woo movies."

LOL, good thing the guy I share an office with is pro gun so I don't have to explain "what's so funny" to him.

February 5, 2002, 08:06 PM	#80
ATTICUS Senior Member Join Date: June 7, 1999 Location: Central Ohio Posts: 2,100	The new Jody Foster "Safe room" movie would last one minute...."Dammit, she's got an AR with a beta mag...let's go." __________________ Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

February 5, 2002, 08:36 PM	#81
Brett Bellmore Senior Member Join Date: March 17, 1999 Location: Capac, MI, USA Posts: 1,927	All I can say is, you guys have GOT to read the Bureau 13 novels by Nick Polletta. Bureau 13 : #1 Judgment Night Bureau 13: Doomsday Exam Full Moonster Sadly out of print, but worth reading if you can find them. Bureau 13 is the secret branch of the FBI in charge of fighting supernatural threats. __________________ Sic semper tyrannis!

February 5, 2002, 08:59 PM	#82
baldangel Junior Member Join Date: August 22, 2001 Location: Lafayette, LA Posts: 8	Boudreaux to Thibodeaux while successfully holding off a zombie attack with thier favorite 12 gauges. "Thib!, I heard dat those zombie ar good in a gumbo!" __________________ Tony

February 5, 2002, 09:36 PM	#84
nsf003 Senior Member Join Date: January 12, 2002 Location: South Central PA Posts: 574	Awesome thread! I almost pissed myself laughing. I'm not very witty, so i won't be adding much. Keep 'em coming! nsf003 __________________ Christian, American, Heterosexual, Pro-gun Conservative. Any Questions? Molon Labe! Lets Roll!

February 6, 2002, 02:01 AM	#85
Fred Hansen Senior Member Join Date: May 30, 2001 Location: The middle of WWIII Posts: 3,335	*"NO! NO! NO! You idiot! You brought me all the way out into the desert for this? That's not the Mummy, it's Sarah Brady for #%@$& sake!"** __________________ "This started out as a documentary on gun violence in America, but the largest mass murder in our history was just committed -- without the use of a single gun! Not a single bullet fired! No bomb was set off, no missile was fired, no weapon (i.e., a device that was solely and specifically manufactured to kill humans) was used. A boxcutter! -- I can't stop thinking about this. A thousand gun control laws would not have prevented this massacre. What am I doing?" Michael Moore

February 4, 2002, 04:05 PM	#76
buzz_knox Senior Member Join Date: December 2, 1999 Location: Knoxville, in the Free State of Tennesse Posts: 4,190	"Fire mission!" "OP! reporting massed group of goblins at coordinates ______." "Load ICM. Battery 1 . . . fire!" "Adjust fire and fire for effect!" "Targets neutralized!" How about this one: "Col. Cooper, there are goblins outside!" "What?! Miscreants are approaching my ranch and intending to do foul deeds towards my students? How outrageous!" "No, Col. I mean there are goblins." "Yes, yes. I know. Miscreants." "No, you old fart. There are actual, green, fanged, scaly, axe wielding goblins running like hell for the gates!" "Well, bring me my scout rifle!" "A bolt action rifle for a massed attack of demonic infantry? Get real! I'm going to the Dillon ranch to see if I can borrow the miniguns!"

February 5, 2002, 07:03 PM	#79
biere Senior Member Join Date: December 15, 2001 Location: tn Posts: 504	For almost everyone of these: THIS IS WHAT I HAVE PREPARED FOR! And here is a list of addresses for everyone who voted for gore. After killing them you can go after republicans.

February 5, 2002, 09:09 PM	#83
Mark D Senior Member Join Date: October 4, 2000 Posts: 383	This came to mind every time I watched critters/gremlins/living dead etc... Ooooohhh... I'm so scared... Oh, by the way. D'all y'all fanged, scaly critters realize yer standing in a big ole pool of gasoline? Every movie that ever deals with an undead villan... Yes, I understand that we can't kill him, but I don't think he's going to be able to do much to us without some form of locomotion. Now go over there and pick up his legs while I collect his arms. And I don't ever want to hear you complain about me carrying two 44 magnums again.

February 6, 2002, 03:13 PM	#87
striderteen Senior Member Join Date: December 14, 2001 Location: Pasadena, California Posts: 590	Burt...he's the one with that big-ass .50-cal rifle, right?

August 14, 2002, 03:09 PM	#88
MrAcheson Senior Member Join Date: July 15, 2002 Posts: 442	Depends which movie, in Tremors I, he uses a Holland and Holland .60 caliber elephant gun (among other things, the rec room scene is great and involved many guns). In Tremors II, I believe his main gun is a Maadi Griffen in .50 BMG. Haven't seen Tremors III yet. "What are these?" Burt hands the kid a pipe bomb. "Just a few household chemicals in the proper proportions."

August 14, 2002, 03:56 PM	#89
cslinger Senior Member Join Date: July 14, 2002 Location: Nashville, TN Posts: 2,045	Speaking of the Safe Room I can't help but thinking of the previews where she is asking them over some kind of intercom what they want and they write we want what's in the room. "My reply would have been I'll be out as soon as I am done loading, just meet me on the other side of the door." Never saw the movie but Geeezzz that movie peeved me. 600,000 dollars for an impenitrable "SAFE" room and you can't spend $250 on a nice Remington 870 and $15 bucks on the Walmart 100 round special. Hello least you could have told them was you were heavily armed and if they get through the door they were getting a hands on anatomy class. __________________ "Is there anyway I can write my local gun store off on my taxes as dependents?"

December 28, 2002, 06:36 PM	#90
Ironbarr Senior Member Join Date: August 11, 2000 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 1,188	Mad Dog... In other words - Situational Awareness, huh? __________________ -AndyB FWTV - For Whatever The Value ...When seconds count, most help is just minutes away.

December 29, 2002, 12:00 AM	#91
seeker_two Senior Member Join Date: August 31, 2002 Location: Deep in the Heart of the Lone Star State (TX) Posts: 2,169	Occult mythology used to be a hobby of mine. FYI, silver kills ANYTHING UNDEAD & SUPERNATURAL (vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc.) And silver bullets would be very useful... Decapitation very useful too. A katana to back up your silver-tipped bullets would be comforting... Thanks for bringing this thread back up... __________________ Proud member of Gun Culture 2.0......

December 29, 2002, 05:10 PM	#92
Johnny Guest Moderator in Memoriam Join Date: August 28, 1999 Location: North Texas Posts: 4,123	In the same vein, [b]cslinger[/b]---- Younger Son, while not nearly so into the shooting sports as his brother and dad, is not without awareness. He asked if I'd seen "The Safe Room," and I said I wasn't too interestred after seeing the previews. He said, "R-i-i-g-ht. They spend heaven knows how much on that room, and all I can think when the stuff hits is, "Shotgun. SHOTGUN! Where's the flippin' SHOTGUN???" Best, Johnny

December 30, 2002, 01:38 AM	#94
MAKOwner Senior Member Join Date: December 5, 2001 Posts: 315	Line I'd like to see in a horror movie: "Bet you wish you owned a firearm or 5 now don't ya nancy-boy?" This right after the liberal bitch gets nawed on after being unarmed and the gun owner hero (Lets call him Burt...) who says the line saves his own life repeatedly... __________________ MAKOwner

December 30, 2002, 06:10 PM	#95
biere Senior Member Join Date: December 15, 2001 Location: tn Posts: 504	Eight Legged Freaks has some fun points in it about guns and what not. And who can resist giant spiders. I always wanted to see a posse being formed and for there to be requirments for the guns brought. Detachable magazines with 20 rounds or more capacity. Lots of spares. Larger calibers. Back up gun and a back up for the back up. Actually, just list what they banned on rifles to make a point. And about that picture of a shell with Runt of the litter by it, isn't that shell almost big enough we could just launch an armed runt into the problem area and let her solve the problem? Reading that post about how many guns you can conceal gave me that idea.

December 31, 2002, 09:51 PM	#96
JackNKoch Senior Member Join Date: November 15, 1999 Posts: 185	raiding gun safe before climatic ending While holding Beretta 92FS in one hand and Colt 1911A1 in the other six 4 sure "Whadda ya think...16 rounds of 9mm or 8 rounds of .45?" JackNKoch "Grab'em both...and plenty of mags. We're gonna end this s__t once and for all." six 4 sure " Chupacabra goat-sucker test?" JackNKoch "Yeah. Hey, do the Talons or the Gold Dots do better in 16,000-pound-flesh-eating-jello?" six 4 sure "I just hope there's a trace of silver in these Silvertips."

May 19, 2004, 06:49 AM	#98
FF1090 Member Join Date: August 5, 2002 Location: North Florida Posts: 77	Anyone remember the seventies/eighties flick "The Comet", with a young Leia Thompson? Another typical zombie flick. The young folk have been given MAC11's by the Army guy, and the hip spoiled younger sister sniffs: "Daddy would have given us UZIs!" Bwahahaha! I always liked that line. I loved the movie "Dawn of the Dead", with the clueless folks holed up in the Mall, fighting off both killer zombies and crazed Bikers. A laugh riot. Best scene - the "hunters" on the hill, head-shooting the zombies staggering across the field, using their deer rifles. What a hoot! __________________ "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

May 19, 2004, 12:01 PM	#99
Destro Member Join Date: May 18, 2004 Posts: 18	Cool! "What's that? Jason Vorhees is running loose again? Alert all artillery, all tanks, all planes!" The general says. "You TFL members have the right idea!" Freddy Kruger running into a TFL meet..... Nightmare at the Firing Range. Count Dracula: Where on Earth did you get a Stinger missile? A horror movie without tanks and planes isn't much of horror movie. Forget Van Helsing, Meet Gunny Emery and his M48 Tank! __________________ Blaming guns for crime is like blaming cars for drunken driving. Got Jesus? Got .45 acp? Got FAL? Got Rotty?