what to do about brother in law?

[Alleykat]

JHC! The dad is 60, not 80! Let's hope he lives another 25-30 years. Take a look at the will. If your BIL actually follows through with kicking your ass, have him locked up, where he belongs.

[markj]

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

My sis was married twice and I kicked both their butts, put one into the hospital. She is single now.

Dad passed away and I got his shotgun I bought for him, I gave it to my younger brother since he didnt havea good shotgun to hunt with. He got teared up, I felt real good. I see Dad there every bird he drops. He got his limit first time this last season and Dadwas a smiling down upon us.

Kev moved to CA after college, he missed a lot of years with the Old Man and I on hunting trips we took. He moved back and finally went out with Dad and I, he was hooked. Now we hunt together and make our memories.

But no bro in law is worthy of this treatment unless he earns it. Younger sis has a husband we all love and call brother, he would get this treatment cause he has shown us he is a man and worthy of sis's heart.

[homefires]

Novel thought!

If you think the BIL was serious about what he said , take actions.

Inform your father as to what kind of BUZZARD your brother in law is. Tell him what he said.

Let your father do what he wishes with his properties.

[lockedcj7]

My father passed at 58 after a short and unexpected illness so the time to talk about it is now. He only owned three guns (that we know of) and none had any sentimental/collector's value. Still, my step-mother didn't want them around since she doesn't know anything about guns. I'm the only son so she gave them to me. Recently, my grandfather got sick and I told my grandmother that I eventually wanted his SxS 20 ga. It didn't have any collector's value either but it held tremendous sentimental value. She insisted that I go ahead and take it. I'm glad I did. He passed away a few months later and my uncle took the rest of the guns before anyone else got there. Neither he nor my cousin is a hunter or gun enthusiast and I have no doubt that those guns will never be shot again.

[357 Python]

If possible try to tape the BIL when he has his flights of fancy. Call the whole family together along with the family attorney. Then play the tape for all of them then it is your fathers decision whether or not to bar him from the property. The attorney will definately set the BIL straight. When finished the BIL will probably leave and won't want to show his face anywhere near you or your side of the family. The idea is to show everyone the type of bad actor this clown wants to be. If he threatens you on the tape the attorney can advise him that he may be bought and paid for (a phrase we use here for some idiot who just gave you legal justification to shoot him when they make a bad move and the courts say tough luck). No matter what you should be talking to the family attorney and keeping him/her up to date on this rectum wipe.

[rem870hunter]

mike irwin, BIL and sister argued a few times in the past. both at my dads and their (BIL and sisters home.) he does drink, was probably drunk and being stupid when my sister tossed him out not once or twice but 3 times. not sure i wasn't there when it happened. just heard about from my dad.

honkylips, if i could buy them i would. the issue is money,if i am lucky i can buy a few hundred dollars worth of things that i really really need, in jan. when i get my income tax return. the rest of it pays bills. if i could buy my own when i felt the urge and had the money to i would. i can think of a few firearms that i would like to buy that my dad don't have.

lockedcj7, i am sorry for your loss. at 58 it wasn't his time.

357 python, i would love to have been able to get that threat on tape. and the one he made about getting a dumpster and tossing my dads stuff.

not long after him telling me that if my sister asked for the .45, he got drinking one night while he and my sister still lived at my mom and dads house. he told my dad that he wants his dress blues, hat, nco sword. and was going to take the flag from his funeral and put it in a nice glass case in his (bil) living room. so his (bil and sister) kids have something to remember pop pop bill.
he did put his foot in his mouth back in december he had himself some drinks and was feeling really good ( i guess). for whatever reason he (bil) asked his parents what do you want me to do if suddenly you 2 died. like together at the same time. ya never know it can happen he said plane crash,car wreck,etc. they told him you know where the key is and will know what to do when the time comes. he then turned and told my mom and dad i already know what to do if something happens to you 2 together. i am going to go to your house and change all the locks so no one can get inside and take stuff. so that there makes strike 3. the gun,the cleaning out the house and the changing the locks.

all the guns are locked in cabinets. 1 set of keys to them is locked in a combo safe. bil doesn't know the combo and never did. sister don't know it either, the other set of keys is locked with the gun papers,will,etc. and i know where that key is. when i see him tomorrow i am definetly going to check with him on who is executor of the will,estate.

[357 Python]

I hate to say it but this sounds as if he is already planning something. Notify your family attorney immediately and document everything so if anything funny happens the police will have a suspect. Having been a Private Investigator and currently a Police Officer for the Department of the Army this conduct is not normal. I hope I'm wrong but in nearly 30 years of protective services (private security and police) I have learned to pay attention to those gut feelings.

[nutty ned]

rem870hunter:
Could we put him in a cage with mine?

[Hawg]

I was in almost the same situation. After my dad died I got all his guns. My nephew(by marriage) tried to get them saying dad wanted him to have them for his son when he got older. My dad never said any such thing. My sister got into it saying she wanted them for the same boy. My niece divorced him a few months later so he's out of the picture but me and my sis aren't getting along very well now. Also my father in law died a couple of weeks ago. He had a few guns. A couple of them I'd love to have but I'm not going to try to get them. They should go to members of his family, not a relative by marriage. However should any be offered(fat chance) I won't say no.

[dairycreek]

I am 71 years old and I own a lot of guns. At my age I neither need to own that many nor can I shoot all of them on a regular basis. So, many of these guns just sit around as involuntary safe queens. I have seen relatives do some pretty strange things when a loved one dies and the will is read. So, I have begun to give away my guns to those that I think might appreciate them and use them well. I have made this process known and have given away most of the guns already. Just keep enough to shoot and keep me amused. If someone does not like it - tough. But let them get mad at me rather than cause a lot of fuss after I die. My advice? Don't let a will do something when you're dead that you can do better while still alive.

[rem870hunter]

hawg , i am sorry for your losses. i hope that the times you had with them were all good ones.

dairy, i am hoping that the years have been good to you. may you have many more good years to come, and that whatever happens to your possesions when you pass will be put to good use (not that you haven't). and those that get them will care for them well as you have while you had them.

while what my father has sits in cabinets pretty much doing nothing. they hold value to me. some are for my boys and brother in laws boys. for in the future if they want to hunt and that when i pass they would get certain ones. so says my will when i write it, as long as they keep clean.

his father (my grandad) passed 4 years ago. before his alzheimers advanced he sat him and his sister and brothers down and planned on what to do. my dad was told to take back what firearms he (my dad) bought and gave to him. and some that were to go to him. there was a few that were supposed to and didn't. one of the brothers got the house and inside was the few he didn't get. they are still in there, along with another brothers browning auto5. they haven't spoken since grandad died. but i am staying out of that decision.

they are not collectors items, they were bought for the purpose of hunting and some for plinking. when he bought the marlins he bought 2 at one time, 1 for him and 1 for me. a week later bought 1 for his father. i wasn't old enough to hunt with it yet so he sold it to a relative that was going hunting with him. then bought another years later for me. he made sure that with the rifles, he had atleast 2 of one action type and of the same caliber. one for me and one for him. until a few years after my first son was born. he started buying more so that when he started hunting he had one to use. the pistols, not really sure why other than hunting. although i wouldn't shoot an animal with a .380 auto unless i really really needed to. the .38 spl,.357 mag,9mm,.45 acp. i would use for hunting. if legal where i would be hunting.

[Mike Irwin]

My father passed last year. He didn't have a lot of guns, but he had several nice one.

I'm the guy guy in the family, and Dad wanted me to have them all.

My brother, not a gun guy, asked if he could have one of Dad's semi-autos.

Dad only had two semi-autos, I wanted both of them, and neither one was what my brother was talking about wanting, so I told him no, but I'd take care of it.

A few weeks ago I picked up a Ruger 9mm for a song that I'm going to give to him.

Solves the issue nicely.

[Webleymkv]

Well, I would definately find out if you're the executor of the will. If so, I wouldn't give BIL or your sister anything as long as they're still married regardless of whether or not they get the proper ID. Your BIL sounds like a volitile borderline (if not full blown) alcoholic and these sorts of people don't need access to firearms. It may be worth doing a background check on you BIL as it's very possible that he may have a criminal record that might prevent him from owning a firearm anyway.

[M1911]

If possible try to tape the BIL when he has his flights of fancy.

Bad idea. Tape recording a person without their knowledge is illegal in many states. Don't do that unless you first get advice from competent counsel.

[dakotashooter2]

My guess is that the BIL may be "gone" before you have to worry about it.

[Wuchak]

Tell Dad about the conversation with the BIL and then give Dad a nice Jennings or something similar to leave to the BIL.

[darrentxs]

They are your dad's guns now. I'd let him know what's going on. He may spell it out to your BIL - they will be left to you, period. He may even give you one now. It's also possible that he would like for your BIL to have one, though it doesn't sound like it. I wouldn't worry too much about it as long as your dad knows what's going on.

In my case my family is lucky, my dad has 3 sons & a daughter that shoot as well as my BIL who also shoots and is a great guy. My dad has put a lot of thought into who will inherit which guns. It will go down exactly as he wishes. I keep telling him it doesn't matter anyway because ancient Mexicans said the world ends in 2012 and we'll probably all go out together. (That's a joke but...who knows?)

[C17A]

I was the only one of four kids in my family that has any interest in firearms, at all. Dad had three guns, one of which I bought so we could shoot together, which we did. On his death I got the three guns with no reservations, since everyone thought I should have them. They had no collector value, only sentiment attached.

Compare that to my mother-in-law, who was expressly told that the (many) hunting guns from her Grandfather would be evenly distributed when he passed away, but got none. She is still bitter about it, since any gun received would have been a link to her grandfather and something he liked to do. It would have been carefully cleaned, oiled, and put away for one of her grandsons to hunt with. We have pictures of her Grandfather and friends from their hunting trips in Michigan, with a stringer of deer between two trees like they were trout, surrounded by the happy hunters. There were also shotguns in the estate, and none of the firearms have ever been seen again.

It makes sense to talk about the inevitable when your Dad is of sound mind and body--and consider yourself, too. What happens if you go to the big range in the sky before Dad does? Make sure your wife or kids are listed in the will in that event. Talk about the arrangements now, such as who gets power of attorney if he goes into a nursing home or is unable to handle his affairs.

In addition, any objects of value to the estate, need to be protected from pilferage. There are many horror stories of relatives/neighbors/care workers swooping in while the body is still warm and carrying off everything they can, be it a coin collection, stamp collection, tools, you name it, before the will is dusted off.

[aerod1]

My late FIL had a lot of guns but his son (my BIL) pawned them off for drugs. Then my BIL died from an over dose of heroin.
I have all my guns listed on a spreed sheet and one column on the spreed sheet designates who my guns go to in the event of my early demise. I only had one daughter so mine are being split up between my grandson and granddaughter. There are some that I haven't designated because it makes no difference to me who gets them. I will let my daughter and son-in-law make that decision.
If I get to where I can't shoot or properly take care of my guns, I will give them away myself.

[TEDDY]

have you a lawyer or your father.get copy of will.amazing how wills disapear.
a good friend died and left his guns to his son,the son came down south and got the pistols and flew north.left the rifles till later,when he could drive down.the sister kept them.he wont get them now.If you could gett them in joint ownership that would be way to go.lack of a lawyer will cause great trouble. you would not want this bil to get gun and kill your sister.sounds like he wants the uniform and -to sell.been there had it done loaned german puckel helmet to sil sold it and laughed.he ain't married to my daughter any more.

[MeekAndMild]

Damn! Remind me to sell all my guns before the vultures start circling!

All you guys who are feeling old and faint remember the NRA takes donations. Come to think of it I may leave EVERYTHING to the NRA.

[rem870hunter]

Wow..been awhile since i've been on here. Sadly my father passed away on Jan 18th 2024

[armoredman]

A trust is apparently more bullet proof than a will, but I am going off secondhand info. I croak, my wife decides who gets what, and there isn't really that much to worry about, especially with only one child for stuff to go to besides her.
Everyone on my side of the family is long gone, even my brother, so there will be no arguments whatsoever.
I agree - give stuff to people you want to have things BEFORE the end, and whenever the end comes, there will be one or two persons who will go in the deceased's house, despite any will, and will simply make valued heirlooms disappear.

[radom]

Here when my dad passed was just me and my 2 brothers and my dads ideas. Who wants this or that and swaps. My wifes dad passed and 3/4 of the guns went poof before the estate we where managing was done.

[DaleA]

Rem870hunter---
So is your brother-in-law making trouble for the estate?

Since your father's will is pretty specific I'd just ignore your brother-in-law if you can but I don't know how insistent/vicious/troubled he might be or what your family dynamic is.