Just Bought First Gun! (now, the agonizing wait)

[sven]

My new Glock 17 is waiting for me... my very first handgun!

California law being what it is, now I get to sit here, already having had paid for the product, but not yet able to take possession! Could there really be anything more agonizing than the 10-day wait?

Reminds me of that classic Simpson's episode, "The Cartridge Family"... from:


http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F01




% At the local gun store, Homer talks with the man behind the counter.

Homer: I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please.
Gun Shop Owner: Aisle six, next to the sympathy cards.
-- At the gun store, "The Cartridge Family"

% End of act one.

% Act two. In the gun shop, Homer practices handling an unloaded handgun.
% Pointing it at the store owner's head, he pulls the trigger several times.

Gun Shop Owner: Woah, careful there, Annie Oakley. [takes gun]
Homer: I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.
-- At the gun store, "The Cartridge Family"

Gun Shop Owner: Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster...
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: Bandoleer.
Homer: Baby.
Gun Shop Owner: Silencer.
Homer: Mmm-hmm.
Gun Shop Owner: Loudener.
Homer: [drooling noise]
Gun Shop Owner: Speed-cocker.
Homer: Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Gun Shop Owner: And this is for shooting down police helicopters.
Homer: Oh, I don't need anything like that... [paranoid]...yet.
Just give me my gun. [grabs for gun]
-- "The Cartridge Family"

Gun Shop Owner: Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've
got to run a background check.
Homer: Five days? But I'm mad now!
-- "The Cartridge Family"

% The owner finally pulls the gun away from Homer.

Homer: I'd kill you if I had my gun!
Gun Shop Owner: Yeah, well, you don't.
Homer: [walking out of store to his car] Lousy big shot, thinks
he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns, if he didn't
have any guns I'd show him a thing or two...[at home,
pacing the hallway in front of Lisa's bedroom]...let's see
him walk into my store and then we'll see who's worried
about five-day waiting periods...
Lisa: Dad...it's three A.M! Can't you mutter in your room?
Homer: Marge kicked me out.
Lisa: [groans] All right. Go ahead.
Homer: Pushy kids think they can tell me what to do in my house,
Why, I tell you these parents these days they don't know how
to rear children...
-- Homer being his annoying self, "The Cartridge Family"

% The next day, Homer sits in his front yard in a lawn chair wondering how
% he's going to make it for five days without a gun. Accompanied by Tom
% Petty's "Waiting Is The Hardest Part", he watches as a Target Superstores
% truck, his sisters-in-law on a bicycle, a row of ducks, and Ned Flanders
% on a riding lawnmower pass by, each escaping without a shot fired in their
% direction. Finally, the days pass, and he waits impatiently outside the
% Gun Shop as the owner unlocks the door. Running inside, he runs into the
% men's room, flushes, and walks calmly to the front counter.

Homer: Now, I believe you have some sort of firearm for me.
Gun Shop Owner: Well, let's see here. According to your background check,
you've been in a mental institution...
Homer: Yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: ...frequent problems with alcohol...
Homer: [laughs nervously] Yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: ...beat up President Bush!
Homer: Former President Bush.
[The owner slaps a red rubber stamper on Homer's printout.]
Homer: "Potentially dangerous"?!
Gun Shop Owner: Relax, that just limits you to three handguns or less.
Homer: Woo hoo!
-- God bless America, "The Cartridge Family"

[Yakko77]

Helloooooooooo!!!

HAHAHA!!! I think I remember that episode. Didn't Homer start to use the handgun for EVERYHTING?!?! i.e. shooting open a can of beer, shooting out the lights to turn them off, etc. I think the episode also involved a wacked out NRA meeting!!! Hilarious cartoon but "Family Guy" was 10 times funnier!!!

[notbubba]

Yakko77, wait a second you mean "Family Guy" is suppose to be a comedy?
Are you sure?

[KPS]

Could there really be anything more agonizing than the 10-day wait?

Yes, not being able to buy a new Glock in your state
Although I've been watching the Simpsons since they started out on the Tracy Ullman show, I do find Family Guy funnier.It's more of a darker comedy that only sick twisted individuals like myself would find amusing.