why not to rope a deer

[deanadell]

Sent to me via email yesterday...laughed till I had tears running down my cheeks........


I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first
step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they
congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away),
it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over
its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of
them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the
feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I
wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a
step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the
rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much
stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired
and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I
managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was
mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted
to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just
let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die
slowly and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head
and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's
momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me
across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that
there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set beforehand ...
kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started
moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and
shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While
I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up
with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer
will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an
animal - like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't
get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and
make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them
to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a
deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a
millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and
tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the
danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
down on you while you are lying there crying like a little girl and
covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the
deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

[JKump]

I see you posted the "story" again. Wasn't it posted last year???

[nate45]

When I was about ten or eleven and my Dad first started letting me hunt by myself, he told me that if I shot a deer not to get out of the blind until he got there. He said if the deer was not dead and I walked up on it, it might kill or seriously injure me.

If you walk up on a deer that you have shot and their eyes are closed, you better shoot them again, because them getting up and running away may be the least of you worries. You might get stomped or gored.

[BillCA]

ROTFLMAO

My sides hurt, now.

[kraigwy]

A couple years ago, in little canyon in the back of my property, I found a dead deer that had been heeled, dragging the rope until it got caught up and then starved to death.

I wasnt impressed.

[Creature]

Years ago, when I still lived in NJ, a neighbor who lived a few houses down the street came home from work for lunch...only to find her home broken into and the interior badly vandalized. As she stepped in through her front door, she thought she had heard a noise and thought the burglars were still in the home. She came over to my house to call the police.

As we waited for the police to show up, the noise from the inside of the house stopped. We thought that the burglars had heard us and had snuck out of the house from the other side and had gotten away.

Well, the police showed up and they entered the house...only to find a very distressed deer standing in the master bathtub. Well, the deer went berserk again and the police retreated. They called in animal control who brought a air rifle with tranquilizer darts. I didn't know it at the time, but deer getting into homes was not all that uncommon and the police actually had a protocol for it.

The deer was brought out and had to be destroyed due to severe injuries sustained in its panic to find a way out. The amount of damage that one deer managed to inflict on the house was amazing. Not a single tile was undamaged in the bathroom, and the rest of the house wasnt much better. Nearly every room, including the walls were damaged. Carpets and furniture were ruined, the TV was destroyed, even the kitchen faucet was broken.

[deanadell]

I see you posted the "story" again. Wasn't it posted last year???

A repeat Sorry if I missed it the first time around.....I've never seen this until I got it this week.....still laughing.

[indy245]

That was good, I needed that this morning.

Indy.

[Sparks2112]

People just looked at me funny...

Can't stop chuckling.

[fisherman66]

My father received the same education from an antelope when he was a youngster. He lost his prized lariat in the process.

Great story. I hope my old man writes his story down one day soon.

[Smaug]

Man, that's a good one, I had not seen it before. Thanks for posting it.

[texastweeter]

My favorite part..."did you know that deer bite?" I spit coffee all over my keyboard!

[ilbob]

a friend of mine who is a serious deer hunter always cuts a 6 or 8 foot stick when hunting. when he comes up on a supposedly dead deer he pokes them in the eye to make sure. this is the result of seeing a "dead" deer get up and knock a hunting partner down, stomp him a couple times, and then die on top of the poor guy.

[shortwave]

Great story. Friend of mine`s brother fell asleep on stand with doe pee on boots. Awoke without moving anything but his eyes to find a young,small doe sniffing his boots. He`s a rather big fella so he figured he was going to reach out and grab doe. Little doe tap danced all over him causing several abrasions and abruisions. That probably was about 20 or so yrs ago and his brother(my friend) still today introduces him to people as the "Great Hunter", followed by that story. What are brothers for!

[phil mcwilliam]

Once you've roped your deer ,if you can get a blanket over its head it will quiten down enough to handle- just. In my experience its a lot easier with 2 people.

[johnwilliamson062]

I imagine it would be a lot easier with a person and a horse. you know with a horned saddle. Hilarious story, I can't believe someone tried to rope a deer on foot. Could have at least tied it to the truck hitch. If you are crazy enough to rope a deer i imagin your truck has seen enough abuse that the deer would prove negligible.

[BillCA]

I read this story to a friend of mine back east. After he got through laughing he told me this one...

He was walking in the forest of upstate NY one year in the early fall. The leaves were a riot of multicolors and if he remained still he could see critters preparing for winter. At one point he stepped off a deer trail and sat on a rock a few yards away, facing downhill/down-trail. He watched the forest life for about five or ten minutes and was preparing to leave when a deer came down the trail.

He stayed still, wondering if the deer would smell him and bolt or just walk past him, just out of arm's reach and screened by the bushes. He waited. As the deer approached cautiously, it stopped on the trail and suddenly stuck its head through the bushes, reaching for a particular branch.

Their eyes locked. A heartbeat or two went by with both of them staring at each other.

Then, like in a cartoon, John let out a loud Boo!

And, just like a cartoon, the deer jerked back, lept into the air with all four legs in motion. Unfortunately, gravity worked and he came down, gained traction and bolted.

Right over John.

Worse, was in the process, the deer was emptying both bladder & bowels as he fled.

It's bad enough to stagger home with lumps, welts, contusions and bruises. It's worse when you smell like a well used deer latrine.

[hogdogs]

Having trapped plenty of hogs I have had the opportunity to have deer as by-catch a few times. Never a buck with antlers but I assure you it is WISE to climb on top of the trap to open the door and give a few dog barks as they leave... DON'T BOTHER ASKIN' HOW I KNOW!!! I WON'T EVER TELL~!!!
Brent

[deanadell]

And, just like a cartoon, the deer jerked back, lept into the air with all four legs in motion. Unfortunately, gravity worked and he came down, gained traction and bolted.

Right over John.

LOL


I had a business acquaintance in Maine who was an avid Mountain biker. He was on the trail one day, head down, pumping the pedals, and ...WHAMM!!!! HE ran into something and wrecked the bike.

He said he rolled on his back, wiped the mud out of his eyes, and looked up to see nothing but a gigantic Johnson. He peddaled right into the southbound end of a northbound moose. Said the moose looked down between his front legs at him and sauntered off.

Can't verify the truth of that story, but why would you make something like that up about yourself???? (he's lucky the moose didn;t kill him)

[BrunoNorway]

That is funny.

[tplumeri]

What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and
down on you while you are lying there crying like a little girl and
covering your head.

now THAT"S funny, i dont care who you are!

[Socrates]

Great stuff! Glad it was reposted, I missed it.
Makes my drunk girlfriend petting the skunk or Raccoon seem tame...

[texastweeter]

I always p[oke them in the eye with my gun, or an arrow, if they blink i pull the trigger orn lean on the arrow.

[rantingredneck]

That's hilarious.

About 4 or 5 years ago while deer hunting my father in law and I walked up on a young guy (late teens/early 20's) who was bleeding from the chest. He'd pulled off his camo and his white t-shirt was red. We immediately thought he'd been shot and ran to render aid. Come to find out he'd shot a deer and it had gone down. He got down from his stand, tied a rope around the deer's neck picked up his gun and started to pull. The deer pulled back. At this point he's walking a wounded buck like it's a dog. The buck gored him in the chest and ran off. The wound was ugly but shallow. We patched him up from our first aid kit and sent him on his way. He never recovered the deer.

[lockedcj7]

I've only told this story to a few close friends but this is the perfect opportunity.

Once upon a time, I was a young PFC in the 25th Infantry Division. As most young PFCs, I was young, dumb and... something else. We were on a field training exercise (FTX) at the Pohakuloa training area (PTA) on the big island. Because of our own training, assisting with a National Guard exercise and a typical Army SNAFU, a small number of us had been stuck out in the field for a month. We were bored and tired of eating MREs and the occasional B-rations when we were lucky enough to get 'em. We got the brainy idea to catch one of the ubiquitous wild hogs and have us a pig roast.

The Army didn't dare issue us live ammo so we were left to figure out something else. Of all the possibilities, we probably chose the worst one. We dug a pit about 2 feet deep and dropped a bunch of food scraps into it. We secured a rope around the rim of the pit and backed off under the edge of a camo net to wait. I tied the rope around my waist to be sure that I wouldn't let go when the moment of truth came. A few hours after dark, it did.

We were hoping for a suckling pig or even a sow but we got a full-grown, 300 lb, boss-hog, complete with razor-sharp tusks and everything. My buddy and I looked at each other and decided that it was now or nothing. We were hard-core, life-taking, heart-breaking, US of A soldiers for God sakes! We pulled on the rope, tightening the noose on a very surprised, very strong, black-Russian-razor-backed hog. He took off like he'd been shot from a cannon and yanked me off my feet. I don't mean by a little bit. I was a Tennessee farm-boy, 19 years old, corn-fed and in the best shape of my life and that hog yanked me around like he was Ike and I was Tina. God bless him, my buddy hung onto me for dear life and that hog dragged us both across the high desert for better than 100 yards before he let go. I eventually freed myself from the rope and laid there in a pool of my own blood, sweat and other bodily fluids.

If you know anything about that terrain, you know that it's dry, dusty and covered in sage brush and lava. Being dragged 100 yards across it was akin to, well, being dragged across 100 yards of combination broken glass and cheese grater. The pig got away and we were bloodied, bruised and humbled. When they heard the yelling and cursing, the rest of our company came out of the tent to see what we had caught. After a few seconds of stunned silence, and one look at us, it dawned on them what had happened. I didn't think they would ever stop laughing I think one guy even peed on himself. We don't say nothing, we just lay low.

We found the rope another 100 yards away the next morning. Two other guys did manage to catch a suckling pig a few days later but they cheated and tied the rope off to a trailer. One of the officers had trained as a Vet in a previous life and pronounced it 'fit to eat' but the tender-hearts in the camp wouldn't even let us butcher it.