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Old December 1, 2002, 09:26 PM   #1
Drizzt
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Dad-gum-it! It's moron hunting season

Dad-gum-it! It's moron hunting season

by Howie Carr
Sunday, December 1, 2002


Hot diggity damn! Shotgun deer-hunting season starts tomorrow at dawn in Massachusetts.

Thousands of deer will die. So will hundreds of thousands of cans of beer. Other likely casualties include a few cows and horses, some rural road signs and a golden retriever or two whose owners neglected to obey the local leash laws at the absolute worst possible moment.

Don't get me wrong - I support the Second Amendment, and I understand just how onerous the gun laws are here in the commonwealth.

Still, it's somewhat unsettling every year to suddenly see all those pickup trucks pulled over to the side of the road at sun-up, knowing toothless, drunken, MCAS-failing Carla Howell voters are stumbling through the forest, yelling ``Dad-gum-it!'' and ``Yee-haw!'' while blasting indiscriminately at everything that moves, or doesn't.

Let's go straight to the wires.

In Minnesota this season, they had quite a ``harvest.'' On Nov. 9, an 89-year-old man was sitting on his front porch with a shotgun, waiting for Bambi's mother to walk by. Finally, he thought he saw a deer and fired. The deer turned out to be a white horse named Princess that was being ridden by a 12-year-old girl. Princess staggered into a field to lie down while the girl ran home, screaming, ``Daddy, they shot my horse.''

A few weeks earlier, in Brooklyn Park, Minn., a pheasant hunter put down his 12-gauge shotgun and his year-old setter, Sonny, stepped on the trigger, drilling his master's ankle. Explaining later what it was like to be shot by a dog, the hunter said, ``You feel like such a fool.''

Hunters always are complaining they get such a bum rap that kids no longer take up the ``sport.'' Not so in Wilmington, Ohio, where last week a father took his 10-year-old son out into the woods. The lad quickly recorded his first confirmed kill: a 38-year-old pal of his father.

The problem is that a lot of these rednecks get all likkered up and jes' wander into the woods, without licenses, with the wrong weapons, with dogs, before the season begins, etc. Nobody's gonna tell them when and where they can hunt. That's communism, bub. They figure, one 12-pack of Budweiser equals one 12-point buck.

In Westerly, R.I., last weekend, some yahoos went in blasting, and it didn't take them long to bring down some big game. Unfortunately, it was a member of their own party, a 36-year-old yard laborer who bled to death while no one called for help. The other nimrods were charged with ``failure to render aid,'' apparently because they didn't want to alert any game wardens to their poaching.

In Vermont, it's taken two years to bring a bow hunter to trial after he shot an arrow into the air and it fell to earth he apparently cared not where - namely, a tree stand 20 feet off the ground. The arrow struck a 30-year-old hunter there, who toppled out of the tree deader than Old Yeller.

The bow hunter's defense? He had been aiming at a deer. Must of been one of them new-fangled flyin' deer. What the Sam Hill is Bambi doing up thar in the air?

A bear hunter in Oregon this fall dropped another hunter with a single shot from a .300-caliber Magnum rifle. The ``bear'' was wearing a backpack when he was killed, and his name was Clyde W. Shumway, age 58.

Sooner or later, somebody had to sue somebody. In Pennsylvania, a maimed outdoorsman is doing just that, filing a civil action against the moron who gunned him down while he was walking along a horse trail in a state park. The victim was wearing a blaze-orange vest, but that didn't stop a turkey-hunting nimrod, one Frank Yaeger, from blasting him with a shotgun.

The victim had 28 pellets dug out of him, and his lawyer issued this statement:

``Mr. Yeager apparently believed my client was a turkey. I suppose Mr. Yaeger thought he was shooting at a 5-foot, 10-inch turkey.''

Jumpin' Jehosephat. The woods tomorrow will be full of 5-10 turkeys, and all of them will be full of Wild Turkey. Pass the bullets and pass the bottle, Billy Bob. Hunting season is here.

http://www2.bostonherald.com/news/co...rr12012002.htm

I think Howie Carr's a bit of a moron himself, but stupid people tend to give ammunition to morons.....
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Old December 1, 2002, 09:55 PM   #2
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(rant mode on)

The truly sad part of this is that Howie does have a point: these so-called hunters who act like examples of misled evolution probably never attended a hunter safety class (or jus' paid ol' Joe-Bob some bucks so's he cud pass the test) and wouldn't be able to quote you the Eddie Eagle rules for kids, though they may be NRA lifers.

As Drizzt inferred, our rocket-scientist reporters and pundits don't have to look very far for anti-gun material when there are so many worthy Darwin Award candidates just waiting out there.



(rant mode off)

Just my irritated $0.02.
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Old December 1, 2002, 10:01 PM   #3
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Does anyone think for a moment that if guns were unavailable that these, to use the term loosely, "people" would be unable to wreak havoc on themselves and any hapless bystanders with Ford Excursions, household chemicals, chainsaws or rusty butterknives?
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Old December 1, 2002, 10:06 PM   #4
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While moronic hunters exist, statistically there is no comparison to the moronic driver, regardless of seasons.

Chances are driving to a hunting location is more dangerous then the actual hunting.
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Old December 1, 2002, 10:06 PM   #5
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I admit it, I'm actually surprised by how few Darwin Award winners involve firearms, most making do with very commonplace instruments. Bottom line? You can't fix stupid.

And the first two names in this thread have me confused: Is this TFL or WotC?

Steve
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Old December 1, 2002, 11:02 PM   #6
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Quote:
And the first two names in this thread have me confused: Is this TFL or WotC?
Hmmmmm..... Drizzt (aka the Dark Elf) vs. Raistlin (the wizard and brother of Caramon). Hafta put my money on the elf. He's pretty quick with those blades.
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Old December 1, 2002, 11:29 PM   #7
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By his own admission, he was talking about people hunting when, where, and how the law and hunting ethic disallows. That's not hunting; that's POACHING.

When some of the NASCAR fans get drunk while watching the races, and street-race on the way home, wrecking and causing horrible injuries, are THEY now engaging in the sport of "Stock Car Racing"? Can we thus put all racers and racing fans in the category of "irresponsible drunken rednecks?"

No. No, I don't think so.
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Old December 1, 2002, 11:58 PM   #8
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Wanna see stupid. Come to California and see how we drive. Not at all polite like the Midwesterner.
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Old December 2, 2002, 12:17 AM   #9
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We all know this happens, and this guy does have a point.

But I think a cross section of America, will reveal that this exists in everything we do.

Alcohol is a big contributor ro the F*** UP!
factor. But know one suggests cutting back on alcohol consumption.

I think anyone caught hunting with alcohol in their camp, should be banned from hunting. This would effectivley start to remove the largest
group of offenders.

Secondly, no training, means no liscense!

And we the gun owning activists, should be the ones to push for this type of restriction.

IMHO

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Old December 2, 2002, 12:34 AM   #10
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I don't know it this is a rural legend, But I was told a"hunter" had a goat brought into a weigh in station. He thought it was a short legged deer
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Old December 2, 2002, 12:42 AM   #11
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Speaking of hunting and driving, my uncle said that according to one of his hunting magazines, 1.8 million deer are killed in a year by being hit by cars. Two of my relatives have already had collisions with deer this year, and luckily they were not hurt (my relatives, not the stupid deer).

Whatever Howie Carr claims, his obvious intent is to portray hunting and hunters in a negative light. If he prefers the danger and cruelty of smashing his econobox into a deer at high speed over humanely ending its life with a firearm to provide an all-natural source of food, that's his choice. Personally, I've never hunted a day in my life, but I'm seriously thinking about starting. As I learn about hunting, I've discovered there's a lot more to it than toting a gun and a six-pack into the woods on opening day. Strange, I had the same eye-opening experience when I began to learn about gun owners in general.
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Old December 2, 2002, 01:34 AM   #12
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A couple of months ago at a rifle match, I was speaking with another competitor there who had helped to supervise a rifle sight-in day open to the public. The idea was that hunters could come in and get their rifles zeroed before the start of hunting season.
To put it mildly, he was absolutely underwhelmed with the lack of not only preparedness (people forgetting to bring things like hearing protection and adequate quantities of ammo) but also the lack of marksmanship.

I hate to say it, but I think that a large number of hunters really have no understanding about even the basics of riflery or marksmanship.

That is not to say that all hunters are drunken redneck idjits, but I think that many of them are hunters first, and are gunowners a very distant second.


Asbestos undies are now ON.
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Old December 2, 2002, 01:54 AM   #13
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Every season I literally go into a state of war-preparedness.

I live on 44 acres of heavy brush where white-tails bed down. Great ground, but if you're in there, you could walk up to my house without seeing it. Shooting into my house and barn isn't uncommon. I have heard the shots go by before. Hunters tear down my "no hunting" signs, cross my fence, put stands in my woods, hunt dangerously close to the house, you name it. I've run off at least 25 guys in the last 10 years. I've called the game warden at least 5 times.

I've been in near-violent exchanges when asking politely for them to get off MY land. Had one guy point a loaded shotgun at me.

I find stands, beer, shells and the occasional gutted deer in the woods. Short of booby-trapping, I cannot keep the morons at bay. Usually nowadays I open up with the L1A1 for a quick 10 round burst in the am and at dusk to try to ruin their day a little.

I have to tell my 6 year old to stay away from the windows, my wife to stay out of the back yard and keep the dog from going out except on a leash.

I don't want to ban hunting, but I'd have ZERO problems if they stopped shotgun season in Ohio.
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Old December 2, 2002, 02:03 AM   #14
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No need to get a rash from itchy undies caliban, I agree with you. I know several hunters that have little or on interest in firearms. They drag their rifle out of the closet, knock the dust off, hose it down with WD-40 and head for the woods. They may or may not attempt to zero their scopes.

When you try to talk guns or 2nd amendment with them, they aren't interested. They got a rifle that works and say "the guv'ment's only banning them assault semi-automatic machineguns, my hunt'n gun don't need no 20 bullet clips, all honest folk don't mind waiting periods cause they ain't got nuthin' to hide, so don't worry about it.

Of course, I do know some at the opposite end of the meter, but there doesn't seem to be as many of them around anymore. They actually tended to be the older, "redneck" looking types that took their hunting and freedoms seriously.
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Old December 2, 2002, 05:13 AM   #15
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Today is opening day for deer here in Pa. Schools are closed and God help you if you need a plumber!

Tonight`s local news will have the usual opening day tragedies but along with that, they`ll show young Carl or Carla with their first buck they got hunting with dad, Uncle Joe and Granpa.

Slob hunters? Oh yeah, we got em. You should see the state pistol range after the turkey hunters have "sighted in" their shotguns. Arrests, heavy fines and a hanging judge explaining the 2nd Amendment are needed for these bums. We also have drunk drivers, wife beaters and the like. Every day is opening day for them. There is a common thread here. It`s the booze, stupid!
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Old December 2, 2002, 10:11 AM   #16
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Wow... I am appalled by what I am reading! Am I in the right forum? Is this the Firing Line or am I on the MMM forum?

I want to add a few things to this discussion. One, if we segregate ourselves into smaller groups it will be easier for the anti's to conquer us one by one (hence the "assault weapons", hi-cap magazines, and soon to be semi-autos). Two, aren't the same things being said about us gun carrying crazy nuts?

Come on... none of us are any better than the next guy!
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Old December 2, 2002, 10:46 AM   #17
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Quote:
Come on... none of us are any better than the next guy!
Bull puckey.

Are you really claiming that a responsible woodsman who follows the gun safety rules and has some respect for the law is no better than some drunken idjit traipsing through the woods looking for a place to have an 'accident' with his poorly-maintained, badly-handled weapon?

My brother and I grew up hunting with my dad and a couple of his buddies. We followed the laws, obeyed the gun safety rules, and never had an 'accident' nor even a near-miss.

My dad went hunting, once, with a slob idiot hunter. The slob did not know how to carry his weapon safely, did not pay attention to where his muzzle was pointed, and had no respect for either the game laws or for posted land. He and dad parted ways shortly after he, with his finger on the trigger, pointed his loaded rifle at my dad's back while they were walking down the trail. Dad, of course, was furious, but at least he came home alive.

For too many hunters every year, choosing a hunting "buddy" that stupid is the last mistake they ever make.

pax

I'm not intending to imply insult or judgment here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as, an insulting question: Are you stupid? -- Melinda Shore
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Old December 2, 2002, 12:09 PM   #18
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moron hunting

drizzt,
I think that hunters throughout this country should be commended for their sane use of firearms and good hunting practices.

The real Morons are the ones that take the few stories about idiots and put them on a pedestal and call them the "NORM".

I know that it's been said before but just look at the actions of auto drivers. We hear about some of the most stupid, dangerous and vicious things that they do every day by a press that doesn't have a hard on for drivers.

Can you imagine what they could come up with if their attitude towards drivers was the same as it is towards gun owners and hunters?

I think that we as hunters and gun owners should pat ourselves on the back instead of tuck our heads down in shame.

(rant off)
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Old December 2, 2002, 04:07 PM   #19
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Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article today about the deer population problem and (grudgingly) admits that hunting is probably the best solution:
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/12/02/nyregion/02DEER.html
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Old December 2, 2002, 05:42 PM   #20
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I don't mind hunting; I just get irate over paying the tab for the hunters. If they had to pay their own way, the slob hunter would disappear as he would have to have his act together!
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Old December 2, 2002, 05:53 PM   #21
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I've never hunted, but I do range officer duty during hunter sight-ins. I've seen some incredibly stupid behavior, but it was displayed by a tiny minority of the hunters. In the last week or so, we've had over 600,000 hunters out in the woods in this state, and only a few accidents. Not too bad.

As with anything else, just a few idiots can ruin things for everyone.
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Old December 2, 2002, 06:14 PM   #22
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Something else to consider is that the guy is ASSUMING that most of the hunters are out there drinking and just blasting away at anything that tickles their fancies...

Let's see - In a city of 600,000 people, what sort of death rate would one have per day? What number of assaults, etc.?

Firearms accidents are very high profile news, simply because there aren't that many of 'em.
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Old December 2, 2002, 06:37 PM   #23
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I try and think that 99.9% of hunters are safe responsible citzens. I know I do everything I can to abey the law be safe and not enter private property without permission. But I have heard some nasty stories. Guy I work with had a bow hunter come to his door that was shot close to his house by a turkey hunter. I have seen and heard of people road hunting. And every day I go out I here a volley of five shots With all this I get very nervous going into the woods especially on openyday, Thanksgiving day and the first weekend. I am truley tarified of someone shooting that blaze Orange deer.
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Old December 2, 2002, 07:13 PM   #24
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writings like this are simply prejudice...

People applying rare faults to a population or gender as a whole...and do so under the guise of spreading the truth...

What if we changed the term hunter in the above satire to 'black, or white, or feminist, or lesbian, or Methodist..." then everyone would say that the writer was a racist or homophobe or bigot or whatever.

But, in our environment of 'political correctness' one can bash 'the South' as a bunch of beer drinking trigger fingered hooligans who migrate North to the happy hunting lands merely to defy the laws of the state.

Most hunters do not fit this profile. Most gun owners do not plan massacres or serial snipings. Most motorists are not rage riders. Most parents don't abuse their children. Most veterans are not a fragmented psyche ready to go over the edge....yet silly editorials like this depict the 'facts' and divide law abiding groups and are a catalyst for hate and anger.

In depicting the least and most extreme actions by a group, writers are catagorizing the whole group based upon one silly persons actions - and then flaunting their prejudice as the truth.

We have a 'freedom of speech' in this country. It's not 'free speech'. It wasn't gifted for free to liberal writers...it was paid for with blood by persons who sometimes couldn't even read or write. I can empathize with a persons frustrations concerning poor outdoor ettiquette, but I won't apply it to the norm - I know too many good outdoorsman to do that; many of them even hunt.

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Old December 2, 2002, 09:23 PM   #25
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I have been hunting and shooting for most of my 34 years. I only know of one single shooting incident involving somebody that I knew personally. He did something stupid, shot himself, and died. Or maybe it was a suicide and they just covered it up. Almost everybody I'm related to has been hunting most of their life. Only one incident. I'd say that most people are careful and reasonable when hunting. Of course, a few people give the whole a bad rap.

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