The usual translation of Parabellum" is "for war".
I'm not going to war.
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That is neither here nor there and not pertinent to the question posed by this thread.
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No, the 9mm is not pertinent to the OP's question, which was choosing what was best between the .40 and the .45.
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Thus the obvious answer is a round that works best for a wide variety of people and is cost-effective, reasonably accurate, has sufficient power and is widely available off the shelf and in a good variety of handguns that make it convenient to carry (either concealed or on duty).
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These things may be obvious to you, but are irrelevant to the question asked in the OP.
Taking a general response to the title, based on
your self imposed criteria does not answer the actual question posed.