Theres a knock at the door, footsteps are heard.
A voice says "Yeah, he was here when I got off work at 6am."
Another voice says "Okay, lets see what we got."
I open my eyes, theres a cop standing over me. He asks "Do you know where you are at?"
I say "I thought I was at home....?"
The cop asks "Where do you live?"
I say "2400 Blotto
(not my real address)"
The cop says "Well you almost made it, you are at 2402. Do you have any ID on you?"
The previous night I was out with a busload of people from my bar, celebrating the bar managers birthday. My people sent me home in a cab, and told the cab driver my address. The cab driver had to help me to the door. But the driver took me to my landlords door, on the right side of the house. Landlord told driver 'next door over'. Cab driver assumes she means next house. The front door wasnt locked, driver puts me inside and goes on her way. I was passed out there all night, on the kitchen floor.
I am so lucky that my neighbor wasnt home at the time thinking it was a breakin.
The neighbor said to me the next day "I tried waking you up, but all you did was grunt. So I thought "man this is a big boy, if he wakes up thinking I am the intruder in his home, he's gonna be upset! i'll call the police instead."
now you can laugh at me, I know you want to!
