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Everyone reacts to this differently. I still attend a group every month or so that is comprised of those who have taken a life to save their own. It's kind of like AA, but worse. We have members who are civilians who refused to be victims, and peace officers doing their jobs. We have a member who killed his daughter shooting through a door at noise in the night. We just accepted our first member back from Iraq.
Every experience is different. Every person is unique and finds their own way of coping and accepting the reality of what they had to do. There is one common denominator however. Nobody can understand what the path is like until they have walked it. Nobody knows how they will react afterwards, or even the next time, if they should ever need to save their lives again.
Saying how you will react before the fact is like saying how you will swim before you ever jump in the water. Having a psychologist trying to analyze a person who has saved their own life by taking another's life is like having a person who walks analyze a quadriplegic, or a virgin analyzing a prostitute. They do not even have a clue, much less a base for analysis. That is why the group I belong to was formed.
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