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Deadbolts......check (and they stay locked during the day too, if I'm not home)
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As mentioned, the weakness here is the frame. Reinforce the frame and use at least 3" screws to drive into the 2 x 4 behind the molding. Mount a second deadbolt high up, maybe at head level. It's harder to kick a deadbolt that high up.
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Monitored Alarm............check (yes my wife keeps it armed during the day if she's home and I'm not)
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WITH 2-3 keypads and panic buttons on all of them. You can also get a personal panic button worn around the neck. We have CPI, and their response to an accidental opening violation is about 5-10 seconds. The whole house microphone/speaker allows them to communicate with the homeowner wherever they are, and to listen in on what's going down.
The more, the better. You need a couple of switches in easily accessible spots that don't endanger your wife. A switch beside the back door does no good. A switch at the top of the stairs is great. Cut back the shrubbery around the doors. Yea, makes the house look a little sparse, but it gets rid of the "close to an entrance" hiding places.
A tape recording of a savage dog barking will work - once.
Put that shotgun out in the open, too high for the kids to reach and chamber a round. Put the safety on. When under attack, seconds count, and you don't want your wife fiddling with child-proof doorknobs and racking a round.
Try to get her to wear an empty holster for a few days. Once she sees how comfortable a GOOD rig can be, she might come around to toting one full time.