(somewhat OT) There are British people in my house . . .

. . . and I don't know what to do with them.

We have a British couple staying with us at the moment. We happen to share the same surname, so they found us on the net, and my wife has established a nice relationship with them over the past couple of years. Lots of email discussion, exchanging Christmas gifts, etc. They've come for a 2 week visit, and there's one week left.

I come to TFL for advice because my primary goal for their visit was/has been to get one or both of them to the range. I've been hoping to have the opportunity to present my views as a typical American gun-nut, and to impress upon them that perhaps we're not quite as crazy as they've been led to believe.

However, I can't seem to engage them in any kind of non-superficial conversation, and they don't appear to have any interest whatsoever in learning about the U.S. We've taken them to NYC (including Ground Zero) and (for those familiar with the area) Lancaster County tourist attractions, cool small towns like Lititz and Mt. Gretna, Ricketts Glen State Park (the best PA scenery accessable to us), and Longwood Gardens. No reaction. The closest thing we've had to any kind of political discussion is when my sister told them that I voted for Bush, and they sort of sneered at me. The only activities for which they've shown any enthusiasm have been a small-town parade, miniature golf and show tunes. They don't seem to be enjoying themselves, and they won't tell us what they might enjoy.

I'm hoping that, somewhere amongst the vast collective wisdom of TFL, someone might be able to give me some advice on how I might salvage their visit. Perhaps there are cultural differences which we don't know how to overcome? Barring that, thanks for letting me vent . . .

steve

[Betty]

Take them out to the firing range and shoot them...er, show them how to shoot.

Rent Monty Python or Benny Hill videos?

Serve them the right kind of tea?

What exactly did your wife discuss with them through emails that established the relationship? What interested them? Have you asked them what they would like to do while visiting?

[Mike Irwin]

If you haven't been able to connect with them in a week, chances are you're not going to be able to do so.

My suggestion?

Lay it on the line.

At dinner, just say "Hey, I thought if you were interested I'd take you shooting."

See what their reaction is.

It's going to be one of two things, I bet, either outrage/horror, or more sneering.

[Guy B. Meredith]

runt_of_the_litter mentions Monty Python. They have one routine (whose name or reference escapes me) with doddering Brits going on about how they don't make tea quite the same, don't have Watney's, etc. Run it down and see if it provides some clues/ideas.

Or just get your firearms out and nonchalantly begin cleaning or doing holster drills. THAT ought to be a conversation starter. Actually, I very seldom bring the firearms out unless the visitors are heavily into firearms, but it seems like a way to spark things up if you're desperate.

[Quartus]

I had a girlfriend whose mother was British. I spent a couple of weeks one evening bouncing from one stupid hotel bar to another, sitting and sipping Coke while listening to Mommy and her visiting brother natter on about how nice this was and how much they were enjoying themselves.

Him: "Oh, this is very nice."
Her: "Yes, quite nice. I do like this."
Him: "Quite. Yes."

Seriously - it was the ONLY topic of conversation other than a few "I have to do this to be polite." questions directed to me.

The moral of the story is, there are some Brits who are just superficial, empty people. The lights may be on, but that doesn't guarantee that there's anyone home. Having an intelligent conversation with them may be impossible.

I'd forget trying to educate them. You don't have anything in common and you don't have enough time. Forcing it may do more harm than good.

[Zundfolge]

Present it like this ...

"No visit to America would be complete without a nice afternoon at the range, so how 'bout it old chap? Maybe you'll get some nice 'keeper' targets to show the sheeple back home"

(ok, leave out the sheeple part )


Or, if they are staying with you, arrange to have a friend rattle the back door or something in the middle of the night making enough noise to startle everyone ... have the wife pretend to prepare to call 911 and then you get your gun to go investigate.

That would surely bring up the subject


Or, if you have any shooting buddies, have one of them call you up and invite you out for an afternoon of shooting and then tell your british friends that they are welcome to join you. If they aren't interested, at least you can get away from the dullards for a while and hit the range yourself

Thanks, runt.

Have you asked them what they would like to do while visiting?

Over and over. "We don't know." I've made a number of references to Monty Python. No reaction. We have a variety of English teas, and beers, for that matter. My wife is a very entertaining conversationalist, regaling them with email stories of our day-to-day life, and they (particularly the husband) have reciprocated in kind. She was under the impression that they had developed a rather close personal relationship, but since their arrival the silence has been deafening. Maybe it's me? Big scary gun-totin' 'murrican bald guy vs. asthmatic English vegetarian . . . ?

They are aware that I appreciate firearms ("Oh, that's my reloading press."), but I've been careful to keep a fairly low profile regarding guns. I'm thinking maybe I should send our neighbor out to play with his muzzleloader and start wearing my 1911 to dinner . . . ?

[Mike Irwin]

If you haven't been able to connect with them in a week, chances are you're not going to be able to do so.

My suggestion?

Lay it on the line.

At dinner, just say "Hey, I thought if you were interested I'd take you shooting."

See what their reaction is.

It's going to be one of two things, I bet, either outrage/horror, or more sneering.

[Zundfolge]

It's going to be one of two things, I bet, either outrage/horror, or more sneering.

Even if they are antis they (or at least he) may be just curious enough to go with you.

At worse, what do you have to lose? If they are that dull and you are having that much trouble "connecting" then I say go for it ... you may give them something to tell the other boring brits down at the pub ... either about the great time they had shooting, or about their holiday with "those crazy gun toting Yanks!"

[C.R.Sam]

Interesting; Mike just did a delayed fuse double tap. Over twenty minutes between ditto posting. Been a while since I have seen that and seems that it was very close to server contamination time.

Steve, maby just take them shooting. If they are horrified enough they will leave early. They might be open minded to enjoy once exposed. You have bent over backwards to date and have not much to lose.

Good luck

Sam.

[Kaylee]

Arrange for a field trip to Concord Green, and ask if they want to prepare for the next rematch?

Seriously though.. seeing as how they already showed such an interest in America and Americans that they spent the dough to come visit... ask them what they want to get out of the trip. What they'd like to take home in the way of memories and new knowledge. For all you know, there's some deep dark part of their souls just itching to take out an AR and blast stuff.

-K

Thanks, all!

Mike:

If you haven't been able to connect with them in a week, chances are you're not going to be able to do so.

My suggestion?

Lay it on the line.

I think you're right. Actually, it seems like it's time to set up some targets in the back yard - the neighbors won't mind a little gunfire.

and Sam:

If they are horrified enough they will leave early.

ROTFL! We're getting to that point. Although we had hoped to impress them with our civility. Not sure they're that open-minded.

Him: "Oh, this is very nice."
Her: "Yes, quite nice. I do like this."
Him: "Quite. Yes."

[laughing too hard to reply]

Zundfolge, yes, might as well give them fodder for conversation. Nothing to lose at this point. Kinda depressing, though.

[Jeff White]

I have a friend from the UK who visits at least every 18 months. Fortunately he's a shooter, so one of the big things for him is to come shoot.

Last time he brought his fiance. He wanted to introduce her to shooting handguns...regrettably he turned his in when they had their big buy back (tried to send them to me, but our people wouldn't grant an import license, some agreement between the Clinton and Major administrations he was told). Anyway I come home from work one evening and he's got Nadia out on my range, trying to teach her to shoot a handgun with my Colt MK IV Series 70 Government Model. Nothing like starting with something she could handle I found that she was not all that interested in firearms (only going along because Duncan liked them) but when I convinced him to let her learn on a Ruger Standard Model .22 she picked it up fast and by the end of their stay was really enjoying shooting.

Back to your problem, I found that they really liked to shop. Everything is so much cheaper here and they sure stocked up. Blue jeans, name brand clothes etc. Have you tried a trip to a big mall or even an outlet mall?

Jeff

[Monkeyleg]

"There are British people in my house . . . "

Home Depot, aisle 7. Look on the lower shelf for a product called "Limeaway."

[CWL]

Two choices:

1. Since it's been your wife who's been exchanging correspondence with them over the years, leave it to her to know what they want to do or not, obviously you don't have a clue as to what they're interested in;

2. Just tell them that you plan on going shooting and invite them to come along with you. If they refuse, go without them and enjoy yourself.

Perhaps they were a bit pissed off to be here during July 4th?

[Mike Irwin]

Sam,

No, I don't think it was TFL's problem this time around.

My damned cable modem service appears to be run by a bunch of drunken monkey morons. I keep having service interruptions, and this one was about 20 minutes or so.

I had just signed onto IM with the girlfriend when the DMs apparently spilled booze on the link and brought it down.

[bastiat]

At least you can be thankful you don't have french people in your house

[Long Path]

"So, squire-- your wife: does she like sport?"
"Hm? Well, she does like sports, yes."
"I bet she does! I bet she does!" [divert from the M.P. classic here.]
"How 'bout shooting sports? Trap, skeet, benchrest, plinnnnnk-ing, he said knowingly. A wink's as good as a nudge to a blind bat, eh?"
"Are you implying something?"
"No! No! No! Yes."
"Well then, what is it?"
"Well. I, uh, ummm, uh.."
"Come on, then-- out with it."
"Um, would you like to come to the range?"

[Bruce in West Oz]

I think you'll find it's an insurmountable cultural difference.

Do you have any pseudo-"pubs" nearby that serve nice Pommy beer straight out of the microwave, with cold pork pies, pork crackle and crisps? The smokier, darker and smellier the pub is, the better. They'd feel right at home.

We had friends who had a British couple come out here to Western Australia. They took them away down through the south-west of the State. The British wife was terrified, and cut the holiday short.

The reason? Western Australia was too big -- too much room and open space -- too "frightening" ....



Bruce

1. Since it's been your wife who's been exchanging correspondence with them over the years, leave it to her to know what they want to do or not, obviously you don't have a clue as to what they're interested in;

Well, you certainly got that right. The thing is that they won't tell her, either. After they said they were coming (note that we didn't invite them; just provided free accomodations), she presented them with a long list of proposed activities, to which they did not reply. Since they've been here, we've proposed additional activities such as concerts, demolition derbies, drag races, museums, jazz worship services, wildlife preservation areas and amusement parks. They do not respond to our proposals, nor do they have any ideas of their own. "Well, what kind of things would you like to see while you're here?" "We don't know."

I've asked a lot of questions about England, and have actually learned quite a bit. They seem very happy to talk about their own country, but apparently have no interest in ours. We have no clue why they came here. My wife assumed, quite logically, that they wanted to learn more about us and the U.S., but there is no indication that that is the case. We are frustrated, somewhat hurt, and utterly baffled. But that's enough venting. My wife has offered to take them to the Arts Festival at Penn State on Friday, and they're welcome to come out back and shoot with me for the rest of the week.

Limeaway

That is too damned funny. Don't suppose they sell it in drums, though.

For all you know, there's some deep dark part of their souls just itching to take out an AR and blast stuff.

[Note to wife (who is reading this thread): See? We need an AR. If we had an AR they'd be having a great time. ARs are cheap, and there's still time.]

[StuckintheUK]

Zook,

You really want to a take a Brit shooting? I'll come with you

As for getting us Brits onto the topic of guns, bring up "Dad's Army". It's is a British comedy set around the home guard during WWII, they are bound to have seen at least one episode at some point in there lives. Now all you have to do is borrow an old Webley service revolver and you'll have there undivided attention.

[UltimaThule]

Did you remember to warm their beer before serving?

I don't think it should be a problem to ask them if they want to go shooting. Don't expect them to be shocked. They may be totally and genuinly disinterested, but they are probably not going to be very "anti" or "shocked". In my experience guns are a non-issue to most Brits, they are not so much "anti", they just don't care. Make sure you stress the fun-factor, don't go "tactical" on them on the first trip.

It may take a bit more time to get to know those Limeys than you're used to with the average American. A bit more reserved, you know, old chap. You guys may be separated only by a common language, but sometimes it can be amusing for an outsider to observe failed attempts at cross-cultural communication...

[Bog]

Gosh. If I were the sensitive type, I could feel quite hurt... not all Brits are Pythonesque charicatures, thank you.

I think the telling thing here is that they didn't ask if they could drop by, just told you when they were turning up. That's a bit off - especially by English standards. If you've been a close friend of someone for years, and they're very informal to start with, then you might turn up unannounced every once in a while. You don't just say "I shall be here, then. Accommodate me." Damn rude.

What are they doing all day? When, that is, you haven't laid something out specifically for them.

Some Brits are just plain wierd, it's true. Given my lifestyle and career choices, I only very rarely have anything to do with Mr. and Mrs Middleclass... they tend to be very boring people. He works in a bland office, she Tends House, and in the evening they watch television. *twitch* Nein, danke.

If you want to try taking them shooting, just say "I'd like to take you shooting, I know it's not something you have much of a chance to do back home." It'd be a courteous, polite thing to offer.

They do strike me as a bit of a pair of wierdos, though. Then again, a lot of people in Blighty think I'm wierd, so there y'go.

[citizen]

Sounds like you're doin' the right protocol, only too well.

They MAY simply expect you to be "American".

Vociferous, demanding, determined.

Be it; do it. THAT may provide them more "post-holiday" banter than they ever hoped for.

DON'T take them so seriously; sounds like they're willing (if not anxious) to be herded. Believe me, they have VERY direct means of buggin' out when the mood suits them. Besides, nothin' on the back-burner cooks well anyway.

[Don Gwinn]

Reserve a room at the Motel 6. Write the address on a slip of paper. Place paper on front step. Change locks while they're out.

When they're gone, go shooting and take your wife to dinner.



Bog, I'm not even English and it struck me as pretty rude. Around here it's perfectly normal just to show up. In fact, you might just show up on your friend's doorstep when you're going to be in town for a week or two--IF you have your own accommodations. If you show up and tell them that they're going to host you, you stand a good chance of having a door slammed in your face. They'll still like you and be your buddy, but they won't let you get away with that.