News from Canada, home of the even more oppressed than we... - Page 3

Kharn · January 12, 2001, 01:05 PM

I was trained by the most elite Special Forces in the land from the time i was twelve in amphibious oberations (snorkeling), the piloting of SpecOp delivery vehicles (canoes and rowboats), the use of overpowering force upon targets (.22LR against paper), the use of assault weapons against airbore targets (Semiautomatic shotguns against clay pigeons) and the use of SpecOp weapons (bow and arrow for quiet sentry removal as long as the sentry is a 4' diameter circle and BB guns for silent light removal). I finally obtained the rank of Eagle Scout before deciding a new career was needed. Of course, that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, so my skills are a little rusty. I ask that my paycheck be in NRA or GOA membership upgrades, with bonuses paid in bandwidth and jelly beans. Should you wish to hire me, you will know where to find me.

Kharn

Mike Davies · January 12, 2001, 08:07 PM

Kharn:
Have you considered a career in the Canadian Army..? Those much-needed skills are in great demand at the moment by our 'Peacekeepers', as nobody can remember how to kill the enemy.
Mike

MAD DOG · January 12, 2001, 08:13 PM

The scene opens on the Starship "Canadian Falcon", which is actually just some painted cardboard, plywood, blinking lights and plastic props, but nevertheless the pride of the Canadian Space Program....

Obi: I feel a great disturbance in the Force, Luke. It is as if many souls have cried out, all at the same time,eh?

Luke: Yeah me too, eh?

Obi: I fear that a great tragedy has occured.

Luke: Like when the Mapleleafs missed the Stanley cup last season, eh?

Obi: No, worse than that, eh...

Luke: Like when Neve campbell left?

Obi: No, eh. Worse than that...

Luke: Take off. Like when Tom Green (a Canadian male of typical intelligence and charisma) got his own show?

Obi: Worse, eh...

Luke: No way, eh? You mean like...NO!
(he falls into hushed silence)

Obi: Yes, Luke. Like when the obese and superannuated William Shatner (Canadian) started doing those singing Priceline commercials....

Luke: ARRRRGGGHHH! Will we never live that down?
So what do ya figure happened this time, eh?

Obi: I can not be sure, but I think that we are being bagged on on "The Firing Line", and the disturbance in the Force is caused by all of the American Sportsmen boycotting our FUBARed country, thereby depriving thousands of Canadian women the opportunity to grovel at their feet, whilst simultaneously preparring to invade us...This is worse than Shatner's toupee for sure, eh?

Canuck84 · January 12, 2001, 08:43 PM

About that hot beef injection:

DEMOCRATS, GUN CONTROL, FEMINISTS, LIBERALS, ABORTION, LACK OFF FREE SPEECH AND WORST OF ALLL.........

HCI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ummm. Well just thought it would fit in........

It happened to us and you guys are going to get it soon too. So Bend over...... Your split house will achive nothing and your rights will be trampled.

Not very optomistic. Just think Maybe, Just maybe you might get a rifle for hunting. Whops. Nope the enviros wont like that.............

Long live Freedom!
Canuck84

**Rich Lucibella** · January 13, 2001, 11:42 AM

Funny thread to start. Boredom begins to creep in.

Again, with no offense to our Canadian Brothers. Thread closed.
Rich

January 12, 2001, 01:05 PM	#51
Kharn Senior Member Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,531	My resume for the invasion: I was trained by the most elite Special Forces in the land from the time i was twelve in amphibious oberations (snorkeling), the piloting of SpecOp delivery vehicles (canoes and rowboats), the use of overpowering force upon targets (.22LR against paper), the use of assault weapons against airbore targets (Semiautomatic shotguns against clay pigeons) and the use of SpecOp weapons (bow and arrow for quiet sentry removal as long as the sentry is a 4' diameter circle and BB guns for silent light removal). I finally obtained the rank of Eagle Scout before deciding a new career was needed. Of course, that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, so my skills are a little rusty. I ask that my paycheck be in NRA or GOA membership upgrades, with bonuses paid in bandwidth and jelly beans. Should you wish to hire me, you will know where to find me. Kharn

January 12, 2001, 08:13 PM	#53
MAD DOG Senior Member Join Date: October 13, 1998 Location: Arizona. Posts: 853	Obi Wan Cannucki to Luke Canadianmistwalker : The scene opens on the Starship "Canadian Falcon", which is actually just some painted cardboard, plywood, blinking lights and plastic props, but nevertheless the pride of the Canadian Space Program.... Obi: I feel a great disturbance in the Force, Luke. It is as if many souls have cried out, all at the same time,eh? Luke: Yeah me too, eh? Obi: I fear that a great tragedy has occured. Luke: Like when the Mapleleafs missed the Stanley cup last season, eh? Obi: No, worse than that, eh... Luke: Like when Neve campbell left? Obi: No, eh. Worse than that... Luke: Take off. Like when Tom Green (a Canadian male of typical intelligence and charisma) got his own show? Obi: Worse, eh... Luke: No way, eh? You mean like...NO! (he falls into hushed silence) Obi: Yes, Luke. Like when the obese and superannuated William Shatner (Canadian) started doing those singing Priceline commercials.... Luke: ARRRRGGGHHH! Will we never live that down? So what do ya figure happened this time, eh? Obi: I can not be sure, but I think that we are being bagged on on "The Firing Line", and the disturbance in the Force is caused by all of the American Sportsmen boycotting our FUBARed country, thereby depriving thousands of Canadian women the opportunity to grovel at their feet, whilst simultaneously preparring to invade us...This is worse than Shatner's toupee for sure, eh?

January 12, 2001, 08:07 PM	#52
Mike Davies Senior Member Join Date: April 8, 2000 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 376	Kharn: Have you considered a career in the Canadian Army..? Those much-needed skills are in great demand at the moment by our 'Peacekeepers', as nobody can remember how to kill the enemy. Mike

January 12, 2001, 08:43 PM	#54
Canuck84 Member Join Date: January 10, 2001 Location: Canada/alberta Posts: 39	About that hot beef injection: DEMOCRATS, GUN CONTROL, FEMINISTS, LIBERALS, ABORTION, LACK OFF FREE SPEECH AND WORST OF ALLL......... HCI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ummm. Well just thought it would fit in........ It happened to us and you guys are going to get it soon too. So Bend over...... Your split house will achive nothing and your rights will be trampled. Not very optomistic. Just think Maybe, Just maybe you might get a rifle for hunting. Whops. Nope the enviros wont like that............. Long live Freedom! Canuck84

January 13, 2001, 11:42 AM	#55
Rich Lucibella Staff Join Date: October 6, 1998 Location: South Florida Posts: 10,229	Funny thread to start. Boredom begins to creep in. Again, with no offense to our Canadian Brothers. Thread closed. Rich