Another Assault tuna attack

DC · June 28, 1999, 09:12 AM

A fisherman in San Diego beat his captain with a 20 lb tuna. The captain was hospitalized with broken vertebrae and other bones.
This incident follows a similar attack 2 weeks ago where a man beat his girlfriend with a 10 lb tuna outside a San Diego supermarket. (extensively posted on here at TFL).

It seems that San Diego and tuna do not mix

------------------
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

Ewok · June 28, 1999, 10:57 AM

I just hope they don't institute a ten-day waiting period for tuna. That would stink!

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 11:11 AM

Is this for real? A crime commited with a blunt, no slimey, object? Would this fall under the category as a concealed weapon? Was the Tuna strategically placed on the boat? THis is a riot. See, I dont need to buy me a gun, I need to buy me a 10 pound tuna!

DC · June 28, 1999, 12:07 PM

Miss D...

Yep, both are for real incidents.

The guy/girl incident was committed with a fresh 10 lb tuna in the market parking lot...she suffered bruises and contusions. He was arrested for battery.
The fisherman/captain was committed with a 20 lb frozen tuna. and the captain was seriously injured. The fisherman was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon; one news account also said attempted murder.

On June 18, we were talking about "Ban Tuna" after the guy/girl incident

------------------
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 12:26 PM

HMM are you pro-tuna or anti-tuna?

Jedi Oomodo · June 28, 1999, 12:46 PM

I am anti "dolphin-friendly" tuna. I think the added hint of dolphin in my tuna perks up an otherwise dull tuna sandwich.

I own a 5 lb tuna that I use for home defense that I bought after testing one at my local seafood store. I found out there that Congress is considering a bill that would institute waiting periods, limits on the size of tuna you can own (under 20 lb, but the original bill would have banned anything over 5), and would forbid freezing your tuna. Sarah Brady is quoted as saying "We have to think of the children. There's no reason why anyone needs to keep fish in the home, and this is a valuable first step towards the total elimination of violent food products from our society." I know that we are all responsible consumers of sea-related edibles, so let's let our Congressmen know how we feel about this latest infringment on our dining freedom!

I'm curious- if I wanted to buy a swordfish, will I have to go to a class III supermarket? I'm also considering getting a guard-crab. Anyone know if Alaskan King, or Snow crab are good breeds?

------------------
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side...
Fear leads to gun laws, gun laws lead to disarmament, disarmament... leads to Tyranny!"

-------------------------

"The Second Amendment will be with you, always."

[This message has been edited by Jedi Oomodo (edited June 28, 1999).]

DC · June 28, 1999, 12:57 PM

Make no mistake....I am unabashedly pro-tuna!

Had NATO bombed Kosovo with tuna the war would have been over in 2 weeks and they would be behaving now.

------------------
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 01:06 PM

Please dont forget that a mandatory lock will be required on your tuna safe. I think I like the logo that has a picture of a tuna with a red slash going thru it!

Coinneach · June 28, 1999, 01:20 PM

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 01:27 PM

How do you people do that? You have now blown Acme away! No pun intended. This is too funny. How about a picture of a carry concealed tuna?

PKAY · June 28, 1999, 01:34 PM

Maybe the guys in these incidents should have been arrested for assault with a "dead" weapon.

------------------
Safe shooting - PKAY

Coinneach · June 28, 1999, 01:43 PM

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
---------------------

Fitzpatrick Fishwrappers, LLC, has just released their new fish-concealment holster. Known as the FFW2K, the molded nylon holster makes it easier than ever for the law abiding fish owner to discreetly carry their large-frame personal defense fish. A sample of the FFW2K may be seen <a href="http://www.users.uswest.net/~coinneach/holsterfish.jpg">here</a>.

Deodorizer not included.

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 01:50 PM

I think I will go to the Tuna-range before purchasing this product. At the tuna-range will be wooden fisherman that you can smack the tuna on to get the feel of the fish.

Ewok · June 28, 1999, 01:52 PM

Technically, sharks aren't fish. We need immediate legislation to close the Chondrichthyes loophole!

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 01:59 PM

Its 4am your door is smashed in, where is your tuna?

CMOS · June 28, 1999, 02:05 PM

Was that a pre-ban or a post-ban Tuna?

Did it have the "extended dorsal fin" or just a regular one...

CMOS

Ron L · June 28, 1999, 02:14 PM

I've always felt that an octopus with legal 18 inch tentacles and extended magazine is a more impressive man-stopper at closer range due to the wider pattern spread. That and the fact that they won't penetrate walls inside the home makes it ideal home defense weapon. Sure, the tuna is a versatile weapon, but face it, an octopus or the snubnose piranah makes a better defensive weapon for moderate to very close ranges.

------------------
Ron

Detroit Chapter
Terra-Haute Torque & Recoil Scoiety

Ed Brunner · June 28, 1999, 02:22 PM

Now ACLU might like this issue.
MY problemwith tuna is that it is hard to reload them.I saw an ad today for an accessory for an SKS that launched a full soft drink can. I guess I could cram some tuna into a cola can...maybe I could adapt it to launch a tuna can.
Would CA by chance have a buy back progran for a tuna can launching SKS w/lug?

------------------
Better days to be,

Ed

Ed Brunner · June 28, 1999, 02:25 PM

Just as quick as you can spell conspiracy theory backwards it has been pointed out that we didnt have these attacks before Hillary started visiting in Binghamton,NY.

------------------
Better days to be,

Ed

Gunz-n-Rosie · June 28, 1999, 02:35 PM

Although I have nothing against tuna per say, I'm more partial to the Man-of-War jellyfish as my weapon of choice.

By the way, where the heck could you conceal a 20-pound tuna? That weighs more than my 6-month-old. Would pirana be considered assault fish along with swordfish?

DC · June 28, 1999, 02:54 PM

Press Release from the Office of Calif AG Bill Lockyer

In an effort to protect the Public Safety and coinciding with a new Assembly Bill sponsored by Don Perata; AG Lockyer endorses AB99831-P, the Tuna Ban. Lockyer also notes that with the upcoming albacore season, thousands and thousands of assault tuna will be migrating into Calif waters within days. Lockyer supports an amendment to the Tuna Bill to include albacore (technically a tuna but heretofore not included in the Tuna Ban due to the name loophole). "The intent of the Tuna Ban is to regulate this dangerous class of fish, thereby protecting our children. The NFA has constantly poured huge amounts of money in thwarting legislation necessary for public safety, deceiving the public into believing individual rights and liberties are threatened. Our children have the right to be safe, is that unreasonable?".

Perata's bill does not deprive the citizens of tuna...it merely prohibits the possession of intact whole tuna. Fillets and steaks are legal and will not require registration.

Lockyer has also asked for Federal funding and increases Coast Guard activity to prevent the flood of foreign tuna into California waters. Sen. Feinstein and Boxer have pledged to introduce Senate bills banning the import of foreign tuna.

------------------
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

[This message has been edited by DC (edited June 28, 1999).]

dZ · June 28, 1999, 03:00 PM

life immitates python:

Fish Slapping Dance

As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 28

The cast:

JOHN CLEESE
MICHAEL PALIN

The sketch:

(An animated item ends with a sign saying 'And now, the Fish Slapping Dance'.
(Cut to a quayside. John and Michael, dressed in tropical gear and solar topees. John stands still while Michael dances up and down befire him to the jolly music of Edward
German. Michael holds two tiny fish and from time to time in the course of the dance he slaps John lightly, across the cheeks with them. The music ends; Michael stops dancing.
John produces a huge great fish and swipes Michael with it. Michael falls off the quay into the water.)

(ANIMATION: underwater. We see an animated Michael sinking. He is swallowed by a fish with a swastika on its side.)

Nazi Fish: Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us au you know about certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on,
talk!

(The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.)

British Fish: Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now tell us - tell us about...

(The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.)

Chinese Fish: Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic.

Second Voice: Am very sorry, comrade commando, but have just picked up capitalist ship on ladar scanner.

(The Chinese fish. bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music.)

Miss Demeanors · June 28, 1999, 03:00 PM

By the way, where the heck could you conceal a 20-pound tuna? G&R I am ROTFLMAO!

dZ · June 28, 1999, 04:03 PM

have a fat pipe?
here is a 1.7 meg qtime mov of the monty python skit: http://www.ripon.edu/Students/QuickR/fishdance1.mov

dZ

Paul B. · June 28, 1999, 04:30 PM

Clobbering the Captain with a tuna? And all they charged him with is assault with a deadly weapon? Possibly attempted murder?
Isn't attacking the captain of a vessel mutiny? Aren't they supposed to hang mutineers from the yardarm? I wonder if the captains name was Bligh?
Paul B.

June 28, 1999, 09:12 AM	#1
DC Moderator Emeritus Join Date: September 30, 1998 Location: Calif Posts: 4,229	A fisherman in San Diego beat his captain with a 20 lb tuna. The captain was hospitalized with broken vertebrae and other bones. This incident follows a similar attack 2 weeks ago where a man beat his girlfriend with a 10 lb tuna outside a San Diego supermarket. (extensively posted on here at TFL). It seems that San Diego and tuna do not mix ------------------ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

June 28, 1999, 10:57 AM	#2
Ewok Junior member Join Date: May 26, 1999 Posts: 380	I just hope they don't institute a ten-day waiting period for tuna. That would stink!

June 28, 1999, 11:11 AM	#3
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	Is this for real? A crime commited with a blunt, no slimey, object? Would this fall under the category as a concealed weapon? Was the Tuna strategically placed on the boat? THis is a riot. See, I dont need to buy me a gun, I need to buy me a 10 pound tuna!

June 28, 1999, 12:07 PM	#4
DC Moderator Emeritus Join Date: September 30, 1998 Location: Calif Posts: 4,229	Miss D... Yep, both are for real incidents. The guy/girl incident was committed with a fresh 10 lb tuna in the market parking lot...she suffered bruises and contusions. He was arrested for battery. The fisherman/captain was committed with a 20 lb frozen tuna. and the captain was seriously injured. The fisherman was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon; one news account also said attempted murder. On June 18, we were talking about "Ban Tuna" after the guy/girl incident ------------------ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

June 28, 1999, 12:26 PM	#5
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	HMM are you pro-tuna or anti-tuna?

June 28, 1999, 12:46 PM	#6
Jedi Oomodo Senior Member Join Date: June 24, 1999 Location: Garland, Tx Posts: 351	I am anti "dolphin-friendly" tuna. I think the added hint of dolphin in my tuna perks up an otherwise dull tuna sandwich. I own a 5 lb tuna that I use for home defense that I bought after testing one at my local seafood store. I found out there that Congress is considering a bill that would institute waiting periods, limits on the size of tuna you can own (under 20 lb, but the original bill would have banned anything over 5), and would forbid freezing your tuna. Sarah Brady is quoted as saying "We have to think of the children. There's no reason why anyone needs to keep fish in the home, and this is a valuable first step towards the total elimination of violent food products from our society." I know that we are all responsible consumers of sea-related edibles, so let's let our Congressmen know how we feel about this latest infringment on our dining freedom! I'm curious- if I wanted to buy a swordfish, will I have to go to a class III supermarket? I'm also considering getting a guard-crab. Anyone know if Alaskan King, or Snow crab are good breeds? ------------------ "Fear is the path to the Dark Side... Fear leads to gun laws, gun laws lead to disarmament, disarmament... leads to Tyranny!" ------------------------- "The Second Amendment will be with you, always." [This message has been edited by Jedi Oomodo (edited June 28, 1999).]

June 28, 1999, 12:57 PM	#7
DC Moderator Emeritus Join Date: September 30, 1998 Location: Calif Posts: 4,229	Make no mistake....I am unabashedly pro-tuna! Had NATO bombed Kosovo with tuna the war would have been over in 2 weeks and they would be behaving now. ------------------ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

June 28, 1999, 01:06 PM	#8
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	Please dont forget that a mandatory lock will be required on your tuna safe. I think I like the logo that has a picture of a tuna with a red slash going thru it!

June 28, 1999, 01:20 PM	#9
Coinneach Staff Alumnus Join Date: February 23, 1999 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 4,272	<img border=0 src="http://www.users.uswest.net/~coinneach/nofish.jpg">

June 28, 1999, 01:27 PM	#10
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	How do you people do that? You have now blown Acme away! No pun intended. This is too funny. How about a picture of a carry concealed tuna?

June 28, 1999, 01:34 PM	#11
PKAY Senior Member Join Date: March 22, 1999 Location: L.A., CA, USA Posts: 911	Maybe the guys in these incidents should have been arrested for assault with a "dead" weapon. ------------------ Safe shooting - PKAY

June 28, 1999, 01:43 PM	#12
Coinneach Staff Alumnus Join Date: February 23, 1999 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 4,272	FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE --------------------- Fitzpatrick Fishwrappers, LLC, has just released their new fish-concealment holster. Known as the FFW2K, the molded nylon holster makes it easier than ever for the law abiding fish owner to discreetly carry their large-frame personal defense fish. A sample of the FFW2K may be seen <a href="http://www.users.uswest.net/~coinneach/holsterfish.jpg">here</a>. Deodorizer not included.

June 28, 1999, 01:50 PM	#13
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	I think I will go to the Tuna-range before purchasing this product. At the tuna-range will be wooden fisherman that you can smack the tuna on to get the feel of the fish.

June 28, 1999, 01:52 PM	#14
Ewok Junior member Join Date: May 26, 1999 Posts: 380	Technically, sharks aren't fish. We need immediate legislation to close the Chondrichthyes loophole!

June 28, 1999, 01:59 PM	#15
Miss Demeanors Senior Member Join Date: June 22, 1999 Location: Illannoy Posts: 1,382	Its 4am your door is smashed in, where is your tuna?

June 28, 1999, 02:05 PM	#16
CMOS Senior Member Join Date: June 10, 1999 Location: TEXAS Posts: 1,417	Was that a pre-ban or a post-ban Tuna? Did it have the "extended dorsal fin" or just a regular one... CMOS

June 28, 1999, 02:14 PM	#17
Ron L Senior Member Join Date: March 16, 1999 Location: Livonia, MI USA Posts: 386	I've always felt that an octopus with legal 18 inch tentacles and extended magazine is a more impressive man-stopper at closer range due to the wider pattern spread. That and the fact that they won't penetrate walls inside the home makes it ideal home defense weapon. Sure, the tuna is a versatile weapon, but face it, an octopus or the snubnose piranah makes a better defensive weapon for moderate to very close ranges. ------------------ Ron Detroit Chapter Terra-Haute Torque & Recoil Scoiety

June 28, 1999, 02:22 PM	#18
Ed Brunner Senior Member Join Date: October 11, 1998 Location: Natchez, MS, USA Posts: 2,562	Now ACLU might like this issue. MY problemwith tuna is that it is hard to reload them.I saw an ad today for an accessory for an SKS that launched a full soft drink can. I guess I could cram some tuna into a cola can...maybe I could adapt it to launch a tuna can. Would CA by chance have a buy back progran for a tuna can launching SKS w/lug? ------------------ Better days to be, Ed

June 28, 1999, 02:25 PM	#19
Ed Brunner Senior Member Join Date: October 11, 1998 Location: Natchez, MS, USA Posts: 2,562	Just as quick as you can spell conspiracy theory backwards it has been pointed out that we didnt have these attacks before Hillary started visiting in Binghamton,NY. ------------------ Better days to be, Ed

June 28, 1999, 02:35 PM	#20
Gunz-n-Rosie Member Join Date: May 3, 1999 Posts: 67	Although I have nothing against tuna per say, I'm more partial to the Man-of-War jellyfish as my weapon of choice. By the way, where the heck could you conceal a 20-pound tuna? That weighs more than my 6-month-old. Would pirana be considered assault fish along with swordfish?

June 28, 1999, 02:54 PM	#21
DC Moderator Emeritus Join Date: September 30, 1998 Location: Calif Posts: 4,229	Press Release from the Office of Calif AG Bill Lockyer In an effort to protect the Public Safety and coinciding with a new Assembly Bill sponsored by Don Perata; AG Lockyer endorses AB99831-P, the Tuna Ban. Lockyer also notes that with the upcoming albacore season, thousands and thousands of assault tuna will be migrating into Calif waters within days. Lockyer supports an amendment to the Tuna Bill to include albacore (technically a tuna but heretofore not included in the Tuna Ban due to the name loophole). "The intent of the Tuna Ban is to regulate this dangerous class of fish, thereby protecting our children. The NFA has constantly poured huge amounts of money in thwarting legislation necessary for public safety, deceiving the public into believing individual rights and liberties are threatened. Our children have the right to be safe, is that unreasonable?". Perata's bill does not deprive the citizens of tuna...it merely prohibits the possession of intact whole tuna. Fillets and steaks are legal and will not require registration. Lockyer has also asked for Federal funding and increases Coast Guard activity to prevent the flood of foreign tuna into California waters. Sen. Feinstein and Boxer have pledged to introduce Senate bills banning the import of foreign tuna. ------------------ "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" [This message has been edited by DC (edited June 28, 1999).]

June 28, 1999, 03:00 PM	#22
dZ Senior Member Join Date: May 31, 1999 Location: Exiled, Fetid Swamp, DC Posts: 7,548	life immitates python: Fish Slapping Dance As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 28 The cast: JOHN CLEESE MICHAEL PALIN The sketch: (An animated item ends with a sign saying 'And now, the Fish Slapping Dance'. (Cut to a quayside. John and Michael, dressed in tropical gear and solar topees. John stands still while Michael dances up and down befire him to the jolly music of Edward German. Michael holds two tiny fish and from time to time in the course of the dance he slaps John lightly, across the cheeks with them. The music ends; Michael stops dancing. John produces a huge great fish and swipes Michael with it. Michael falls off the quay into the water.) (ANIMATION: underwater. We see an animated Michael sinking. He is swallowed by a fish with a swastika on its side.) Nazi Fish: Welcome aboard, Britisher pig. Quite a little surprise, ja? But perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us au you know about certain allied shipping routes, ja? Come on, talk! (The Nazi fish is swallowed by a fish with an RAF emblem.) British Fish: Hello, Fritz. Tables seem to have turned, old chap, let's see how you like a bit of your own medicine, eh? Come on, Fritz, now tell us - tell us about... (The British fish is swallowed by a Chinese fish.) Chinese Fish: Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. Second Voice: Am very sorry, comrade commando, but have just picked up capitalist ship on ladar scanner. (The Chinese fish. bites the underside of a large ship. Film of big liner sinking in storm. General panic and dramatic music.)

June 28, 1999, 04:03 PM	#24
dZ Senior Member Join Date: May 31, 1999 Location: Exiled, Fetid Swamp, DC Posts: 7,548	have a fat pipe? here is a 1.7 meg qtime mov of the monty python skit: http://www.ripon.edu/Students/QuickR/fishdance1.mov dZ

June 28, 1999, 04:30 PM	#25
Paul B. Senior Member Join Date: March 28, 1999 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 3,801	Clobbering the Captain with a tuna? And all they charged him with is assault with a deadly weapon? Possibly attempted murder? Isn't attacking the captain of a vessel mutiny? Aren't they supposed to hang mutineers from the yardarm? I wonder if the captains name was Bligh? Paul B.