Your pistol reflects your personality - just for fun!

[TheBluesMan]

I saw the following posting on another thread and thought it deserved a thread of it’s own. This was from Mike H on the Monty Python in Iraq thread and it cracked me up.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>They say that people have dogs that fit their own personality, I'm working on the definitive list for handgun owners.

Colt 1911/Commander - 300 lbs. plus, beard, gas that qualifies as chemical warfare outside of Kentucky, other questionable personal habits.

Sig Sauer - Smartly dressed, intelligent, witty, charming, good shot. (I have a P228)

Glock - Wears women’s underwear and cheap cologne, lives in trailer, thinks cunnilingus is a pop group.[/quote]

I have added the following, and changed Mike’s self-aggrandizing description of the Sig owner....sorry Mike.

H&K USP - Wears camo pants and combat boots all the time, even to church; arrogant; wishes he was a Navy SEAL, but the training would kill him within 2 days.

Ruger P-series - Has more common sense than he has money, wears old ratty clothes; has at least 150,000 miles on his pickup truck; bathes weekly; his wife can out-belch him any day.

Sig Sauer - Thinks he’s smartly dressed, intelligent, witty, charming, good shot; has more money than he has common sense. Fantasizes about Gina Lee Nolin wearing nothing but Thunderwear.

Lorcin - Has neither money, nor common sense; wears baggy clothes and a backward baseball hat.

Again, this thread is just for fun. No personal insults to anyone are intended. I am a Ruger P-series man myself. That should be the chief requirement for posting on this thread. - poke fun at yourself as well. Remember, this is just good-natured ribbing among friends. No flaming.


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RKBA!

"A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you." - Ramsey Clark

"Rights are liable to be perverted to wrongs when we are incapable of rightly exercising them." - Sarah Josepha Hale

[T-Rex]

What about a Colt Python? And none of that stuff about trying to compensate for other things being smaller than average.

[John/az2]

You mean "cunnilingus" is not a pop group?


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John/az

"The middle of the road between the extremes of good and evil, is evil. When freedom is at stake, your silence is not golden, it's yellow..." RKBA!

[Long Path]

Easy there, George! Down, Kodiac...

Desert Eagle: Justifiably proud; not quite sure why.

S&W M-10: Either a pragmatist on a budget or someone who doesn't really care much about the ins and outs, so long as he's armed. Either way, be careful of him...

Jennings: Man with an inferiority complex.

H&K: Man with a superiority complex...

Colt: Old: Wistful
Brand new: Uninformed.

Glock: Assimilated.

Browning: Typically, happy with himself.


and many, many more.

Any relationship between these descriptions and the owners is purely coincidental...


[This message has been edited by Long Path (edited October 18, 1999).]

[Coinneach]

H&K USP - Wears camo pants and combat boots all the time, even to church

Hey, Morgan, does this sound familiar?

Expansion on the 1911 owner: stubborn; "if it don't fit, *make* it fit"; wears t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off and jeans with engine grease permanently embedded in the fabric; drives a beat-up 4x4 with an NRA sticker and a gun rack.

Nope, that ain't me, not at all.

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"America needs additional gun laws like a giraffe needs snow tires."
--Rabbi Mermelstein, JPFO

[Dr.Rob]

hmmmm....

In all my years of shooting I'll have to say the following things:

Anyone with a 16 gauge shotgun has had if for a zillion years and can't see a reason to switch to a 12. He also can't share shells with you. (since you shot all yours) He probably won't share his lunch either. He is ALWAYS a better shot than you.

Women are better shots than men. Deal with it.

Guys who shoot 50 cal desert eagles generally bought thier camo pants at the fat guy store and have every navy seal/spec war novel, book and video known to man. In a real war they would be real dead real quick. But they sure know a lot.

Gangbangers shooting 25 autos at man sized targets 3 yards is funny, esp. when a hot piece of brass goes down those baggy shorts.

Anyone who shoots black powder at the skeet range will piss off the range officer every time. (OH ITS YOU AGAIN!) Ka-BOOM! hehehe yes it is range officer bob... sorry is my smoke bothering those guys on the sporting clays ???

Guys who have $5000 dollar berretta shotguns don't drive beat up trucks. They shop at LL Bean and Cabelas and have a stainless nissan thermos full of gourmet coffee in their $60,000 range rover. They don't say "y'all", They have never hunted. They shoot pretty darn well in spite of these things.

The guy at the end of the range with the flat top ar15 a2 and the 6x20 sniper scope and beta mag can't hit an elephant in the ass with a bazooka. He will brag shamelessly about the accuracy and cost of this rifle.

The old fart next to him with the krag-jorgensen which has NEVER been cleaned can shoot the eyes out of a snake at 300 yards. He doesn't brag about this and can't recall where he got the rifle.

Old people know a lot about shooting. Ask them.

Old people THINK they know a lot about shooting. Sometimes its best to ignore them and ask the range officer.

Wearing unusual head gear at the range gets you noticed. People will act suspicious of you if you wear a fez, turban, doo-rag (wwf variety), liquor store hat, or pith helmet. Avoid these.

If it takes longer to pack up your guns than it takes to shoot them, you have taken too many guns to the range.

Some perfectly normal people own "assault rifles"

LOTS of really freaky looking people own "assault rifles" Look at the range this weekend , of all the guys shooting "assault rifles" how many would you invite to dinner huh? You want people to take your right to keep and bear arms seriously? Dress better.

Dumb ass country boys with "no use fer book learnin" can shoot better than you. Accept it.

People who shoot black powder are fiendly and courteous.

People whoot shoot black powder have an unreasonable fear of cigarettes, in fact they can be downright discourteous and unfriendly to smokers.

Guns break. Accept it.

Flirting with a girl who can outshoot you is dangerous but can be rewarding.

Any day you can outshoot your dad is a good day for you. Its also a bad day for your dad.. humor him a "flinch" a shot once in a while.

Shooting good at the range doesn't have much to do with shooting in the field. Drink 7 pots of coffee and smoke a pack of pall malls. Pop some diet pills. Run 100 yards as fast as you can. You heart rate will begin to approximate "buck fever". Now shoot a moving target at 50 yards. (Damn! how did I miss???)

Your girlfriend doesn't care about guns, muzzle velocity, sectional density or gelatin tests. Accept it.

If your girlfriend HATES your guns the relationship probably won't work.

If your girlfriend went shooting with you and liked it, she's a keeper.

Sometimes the scraggy looking guy next to you at the range is a cop.

Some people will mistake you for a cop if you shoot well.

Its easier to score a .45 target than a 9mm one. Accept it.

The front site of a 44 magnum has hurt more people than then bullets flying out of it. Brace your arms. Trust me.

People look at you funny when you take a suitcase full of pistols to the range. They move away from you when you go eenie meany miny mo....


You shoot better when you compete.

People in the "olden days" were a lot tougher than us. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to but a burved brass buttplate on a 54 caliber rifle???

Few things are as scary as unloading that rifle reload that went "click"

When someone admires your rifle... you should be nice to them and talk about your rifle like it was your best girl, you might make a new friend.

Varmnint hunters are evil mothers who know precisely how to split the hairs on a gnat's ass. Hunt with them and you will likely LEARN something.

Guys with 45's know they are right. Guys with 9mm know they are right. Some guy with a 40 smith will tell them why they are both wrong. And that old guy in the corner with the model 10 smith with no finish just shakes his head and grins as he puts another 6 rounds through the ten ring.

The guy at the range with the c-96 mauser is someone you should talk to. maybe he'll let you shoot it.

Shooting a 12 gauge slug gun at a rifle range in colorado will get you noticed. To some you will appear a hero, to others a blithering idiot. Accept this.

wow... I went on for quite along ways there. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it. (may keep this one hahaha)

Dr.Rob

[Coinneach]

Some people will mistake you for a cop if you shoot well.

Like the gangstas with their AK-47 3 lanes down, for instance.

When someone admires your rifle... you should be nice to them and talk about your rifle like it was your best girl, you might make a new friend.

But don't offer to let your new friend take a few shots with your best girl...

Guys with 45's know they are right.

That's cuz we are. Accept it.

Shooting a 12 gauge slug gun at a rifle range in colorado will get you noticed. To some you will appear a hero, to others a blithering idiot. Accept this.

Last time I did this, the guy at the next station bitched about concussion, then asked if he could try it.

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"Janet Reno is the fire that ignites my loins."
--Joe Cartoon

[zip]

dr.rob hilareious now mabey you can tell me how to get soda off the monitor and out of the keyboard of my lap top

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oneshotonekill

[Dr.Rob]

1. turn keyboard upside down.
2. shake out loose particulate and liquids.
3. call the IS guys and act dumb.
4. windex that is safe for electronics. Spray and wipe liberally.

ps glad you liked it.

Dr.Rob

[This message has been edited by Dr.Rob (edited October 18, 1999).]

[Ipecac]

Where I live we don't have many Glock/Sig/HK toters. We have:

Ruger Redhawk .44 mag Guy wears wool pants and shirts, always carries camo raingear, handloads his ammo.

S&W M29/629 Same outfit, but buys factory ammo.

Casull .454 Wears new expensive wool clothes, always carries new stalker-cloth gore-tex raingear, handloads, is single.

[This message has been edited by Ipecac (edited October 18, 1999).]

[nebob]

Oh I like this one...
Hey we forgot to mention the guns with the pink grips.
Those are for girls(who really don't buy them!) and guys who shave their heads and walk backwards.
Guys with H&Ks with superiority complexes?
Well ya...

[Spectre]

Kel-Tec owner:
Who needs stitches when ya got super glue? 'N look, you can pull your own teeth...Got a Dremel handy?

Colt owner:
Old than dirt, or young and pretentious- why shoot anything else, dahling.

Mossberg owner:
Never practices, but people think a machine gun has opened up when that 500 unlimbers on small game!

Glock owner:
Drives a minivan and knows how to make tuna casserole...but outshoots you.

(FWIW, I own all of the above! )

The Desert Eagle owner:
Has a laser mounted on it. 'Nuff said.

[solo]

You are all wrong about Glock owners!

Glock - Highly intelligent average clothing nothing fancy. SUPERIOR to you all. The only close compititor intelectualy would be that of the owner of an HK

Colt - owners of colts are wussies because the company itself is a wuss for not standing its ground. You are wimpy puny girly men. Be a real man and buy yourself a GLOCK

[ckurts]

Well, seeing as how the favorite autopistol in my collection is my 1991 Commander (although the maker is no longer among my favorites), I must take exception with the "owner's personality" description. I don't weigh an ounce over 234 and 1/2. The rest, however....

[DC]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Expansion on the 1911 owner: stubborn; "if it don't fit, *make* it fit";
wears t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off and jeans with engine
grease permanently embedded in the fabric; drives a beat-up 4x4 with
an NRA sticker and a gun rack.[/quote]

Expansion for the rural female 1911 owner: Stubborn, "if it don't fit, it will fit; wears jeans with diesel, hydraulic fluid and cow dukey stains; a .45 cal makes a nice hole when you can't use a drill; knows that Patton could have crushed the Iron curtain with a division of Cat D8's and made an all weather parking lot; wonders at the absurdity that the John Deere isn't everyday street legal and believes the Ruger Blackhawk .357 is divinely inspired

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" RKBA!

[[email protected]]

Caveat / addendum to the HK USP remark:

Mark 23 SOCOM owners are the ones who wear camo, even to church.

USP owners are the quiet, sure of themselves types who don't bother sweating the small details, like availability of Hi Cap magazines, because they know they can do the job with 1 round, much less 10...
They can be spotted by the *Khaki* BDU pants, secure footwear, sturdy belt, bulging paunch and balding cranium... (Now what else did I miss in the mirror?)

Of course, what does that make me, since I own a HK, Glock, Kimber, and rotate through all three?

Spark

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Kevin Jon Schlossberg
SysOp and Administrator for BladeForums.com
www.bladeforums.com

[HankL]

Seems like some of are getting at little defensive here. I would take any of the above mentioned firearms, besides the Jennings and Loricin, standing butt assed naked, knee deep in bull crap and hydraulic fluid to a knife fight most any day!
All fun intended. Does my Colt Officers model make my pp short or my blue jeans and golf shirt look bad. I do wash up most every day.
This is a fun thread as long as we keep our senses!
ROTFLMAO! Hank

[hksigwalther]

"H&K USP - Wears camo pants and combat boots all the time, even to church; arrogant; wishes he was a Navy SEAL, but the training would kill him within 2 days."

Hmm...I think 2 days is grossly optomistic. I think I would be reduced to a snivling idiot in the fetal position once the instructor's yelling started.

- Ron V.

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[Gwinnydapooh]

.22 target pistol: Sniveling, effeminate mama's boy. But he hits what he aims at and his girlfriend thinks he's sensitive to her needs.

M1: If he's old, he can shoot better than you AND he knows way more about both guns and overall toughness.

These are describing myself and one of my old high school teachers. Old dude could fire off full mag rapid fire, put 'em all in a small target and catch the stripper clip coming down. He was also about 5' tall and named Leslie--which didn't make me want to screw with him. . .

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Don

"Its not criminals that go into schools and shoot children"
--Ann Pearston, British Gun Control apologist and moron

[cornered rat]

For all you weirdos rotating through multiple pistols, you have a multiple personality disorder...maybe hoping to hit on a nice enough personality to keep

I can tell you the typical difference in GF's personality vs. mine: she likes Walther PPK/s (nice design, cute, pleasant to use in .32) and I prefer Makarov (ugly, reliable, cheap to buy and feed, uses a bigger round) and Glock 17 (same idea).

[TheBluesMan]

hmmm...very interesting.



If I were to judge what kind of handgun I shoot by looking at the above descriptions and comparing them with myself, I should be a 1911 kinda guy. (even though I weigh only 230 lbs.



Here's a few more:

Ruger Vaquero Has a moustache (applies to male or female); you can't tell (without looking) whether or not he's wearing leather gloves when you shake hands with him; saves his brass but never has time to reload.



Smith & Wesson 422 A nice kid, but kinda strange; would rather be playing paintball with his junior-high school buddies; saves his brass because he's seen other people do it, but doesn't know why.



Ruger Super Redhawk .454 Casull with Scope Hunts with it but never got anything (yet); can't wait to buy one of those new Ford Excursions; leaves his brass on the ground at the range.



Sorry about all the Ruger references but you gotta write about what you know best. Anyone got some insight on a Kimber owner?



This is a lot of fun!



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RKBA!

"A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you." - Ramsey Clark

"Rights are liable to be perverted to wrongs when we are incapable of rightly exercising them." - Sarah Josepha Hale

[HankL]

Go TheBluesMan! What if we speak of my Long Slide? 45 ACP and sighted in at 100 yds.
It's got a Colt IV 70 slide on it but that's all. From hammer to muzzle 9 1/4" long and heavy! I only carry it when wearing my Harris Tweed double breasted suit and a ball cap!
Flip Flops for boots of course! I know where the suit is but there is a question about the Bianchi shoulder holster!
I promise I will never show up with the suit or the holster!
Hank

[Paladin]

Dr. Rob,
Bravo, Sir! I nearly fell out of the chair reading your post. Then I brought the wife in and she thought it was good enough to keep. Have you ever considered writing? You are much better than several gun writers that I have known. Thank you for the laughs, after looking through the political forum I needed a couple.
I would like to also add my personal observations concerning police officers and sidearms. It will not be as entertaining as yours, but it does have some experience behind it.

M1911A1: Either he knows something about guns, thinks he knows something about guns or has talked to someone who knows or thinks he knows about guns. You can usually tell the difference by how it is outfitted and the condition and type of ammo he has in the magazine. Of course, that green encrusted stuff marked "1943" could cause a severe case of blood poisoning if it happens to go off and hit somebody. This group has a high incidence of nickel plating, engraving or fancy grips.

WALTHER PPK/S: More money than good sense, possible on the take. Read to many Ian Fleming novels as a kid and probably hums the theme song to "Goldfinger" while he practices his "007 Stance" in the shower.

CHIEF'S SPECIAL .38: Either a smart street cop that uses it as a backup or some office pogue that uses it as his duty sidearm. That is, when it is not in his desk and when he remembers to load the thing with those cheap wadcutters that he scored in recruit school. Groups and scores and way too many pastries will usually clue you in on which is which.

SMITH & WESSON .357 REVOLVER: A pragmatic, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kind of a guy. Usually a veteran uniformed officer that could care less about promotions or political correctness. Wonders aloud often about idiots in the upper echelons. Favorite line on the range after watching some hapless rookie shoot a target frame in half with a new autoloader, "Why in the world they gave you kids a $700 gun with $200 worth of ammo to practice with instead of the other way around is beyond me!" Be especially wary of this type if that wheel gun shows lots of use but is well cared for. He WILL shoot someone if need be. Dead. And quick. Without fifty some-odd reloads.

GLOCK: Almost as much of a pragmatist as the gent with the .357 S&W, but he dares to be different. Could care less about the looks or if the thing can't be engraved or nickel plated. Believes that Sig-Sauers are the most overblown, overpriced gun on the market and the best thing that the company has going for them is their Public Relations
Department. Very opinionated, usually knows something about guns. Usually shoots it well and rubs everyone else's nose in it.

SIG-Sauer: Buys the gun because gun magazines say that it is the best in the world. Basically fell prey to the oldest hook in our society, commercial advertising. A veteran usually does not shoot it as well as he did his old revolver and will bemoan that fact out of earshot of his revolver carrying partner. If it is a rookie he's been told it is the "latest and greatest" by upper echelon and doesn't know any better. He should have started out with a revolver, too.

SMITH & WESSON .44 MAGNUM: Usually with a four inch barrel because the six and a half was killing him toting it around. Got all his gun information from the "Dirty Harry" series of movies and has an autographed poster of Clint on the office wall. Refuses to carry mid-power loads, says they are for wimps and pansies. Has the Eastwood scowl down pat from dodging that S&W whizzing past his ear in recoil, as well as a scar above the eyebrow from not dodging quite fast enough. Other shooters hate it when they have to qualify beside him, claiming their scores (and nerves) suffer. Predictably, he refers to them in the same vernacular as the mid-power loads. Funniest thing to watch is when he goes into the prone; has to wait for the dust to clear to see the target again after firing his first round during a dry spell.

H&K: Reads a lot of SWAT manuals and military articles. Very much into the "toy" side of police work. Wears spit-shined high tech boots. Doesn't shoot any better than the other guys, but is constantly bragging about the gun nonetheless. Veteran officers kid him about having a Nazi flag in his garage. Doesn't have a garage becasue he is still trying to pay for the pistol.

BROWNING HP:
A free spirit or the Serpico type. Often an older plainclothes these days. He's carried the Browning longer than any of his marriages has lasted and is completely happy about that situation. Does have a garage with a big 'ol Harley parked in it that he actually rides. Will visit with the veterans carrying their revolvers and a couple of the M1911 types but holds everyone else in open disdain.

BERRETA M92:
Younger officer, usually former military. Got hooked on the pistol while still in and bought one the first chance he got. He shoots pretty fair and will actually spend his own time/money practicing. Often makes a pretty good street cop if he don't promote on up. Still single and constantly looking and that is the one thing that does get him into trouble.

COLT SAA .45:
Yes, sports fans, there are still some of those out there. Guy was raised in a small town and never was a working cowboy but he dresses western complete with the silver belly Stetson. In hot water constantly with supervisors for wearing those handmade roachkillers with riding heels
and the custom stitching while in uniform. Watched way too much "Gunsmoke" as a lad and thinks that Elmer Keith was a god. Not a bad fellow, actually; just always looking off in the distance for a train that has already come and gone. Surprise and surprise! He is actually pretty good with that thumb buster and knows quite a bit about old guns. His motto is: "If it ain't been around for a hundred years it ain't trustworthy yet".
Take care and God bless to all,
Paladin

[George Hill]

I was getting a little worked up there at first about the USP thing... but then I blew Mt Dew outta my nose while ROTFLMAO...

Glock... hehehehe...




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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

[Hal]

Kimber w/.22 conversion-I prefer to think of it as a "Walk softly but carry a big stick" type of thing."

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CCW for Ohio action site.
http://www.ofcc.net