The Day I Discovered That HCI Wants Me Dead

[Tamara]

I polished this from a couple of previous posts I made here some time ago and just stumbled across it again on my hard drive. I want to submit it somewhere it'll do some good. I think it's good food for thought for any woman living in the city, and could have some effect if placed someplace where it wasn't just "preaching to the choir", so to speak.

Comments? Suggestions?

The Day I Discovered That HCI Wants Me Dead
-by Tamara

The one time I called 911 was on a prowler who had chased my ex-roomie into our apartment the previous day. She was so scared she wouldn't leave the apartment til I got home from work, so I borrowed her cell phone, figuring to troll the neighborhood looking for this guy on my way home and call the heat on him. No joy (as fighter pilots put it). I pulled into our driveway upon arriving home, and as I was parking the car he appeared from around the corner of the building. No problem; I just called the local precinct direct (NOT the overburdened 911 system, mainly because I knew half-a-dozen officers that worked out of that precinct) and informed them of the Creepy Roommate Chaser in my parking lot. Deciding I'd rather wait in my apartment only five or ten steps from the car, I loosened the velcro on my purse's gun compartment, grabbed my jumbo-sized canister of “dog & bear grade” OC (pepper spray) and stepped out.
He charged me and grabbed my arm, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises. I hosed his face with what felt like half the can of OC, holding the nozzle of the can perhaps a foot from his nose. He collapsed, screaming, and I bolted for the steps. I saw that some genius had left the building's outward-opening security door propped open with a cinderblock, and so I looked over my shoulder to make sure he was still lying there. He wasn't; he was right behind me. I pounded up the stairs and into the building, tossing the OC can into the bushes on the fly and scrabbling for my Glock 23 in my purse. Hitting my (thank God, unlocked!) apartment door with a shoulder on the run, I burst in and saw my roomie standing there in the bedroom doorway; eyes bugged out and mouth agape. I kicked the door shut behind me, trying to buy time, but my attacker was so close behind me that it bounced off his head with a *thunk* and flew open again. By this time I had the gun out and turned with it in both hands, trying to raise the gun as close to my line of sight as possible, like I’d been trained. I remember a freaky-calm corner of my brain chanting “frontsightfrontsightfron…” when my assailant almost ran onto the muzzle. I remember that I was taking up slack on the trigger, when he tried to backpedal at the sight of the gun and fell on his butt. I tried to tell him to hold it and wait for the police, but I couldn't get the words out. Incidentally, my roomie says that I was screaming louder than her; not words, just a shriek. Truthfully, I don't distinctly remember any sounds at all, except for him hitting the floor; I thought for an instant I'd shot him. He scrabbled backwards out the door and jumped back out of the building. I got to the outer door in time to see him turn the corner at the end of the driveway and run off. It was then that I noticed that a) I was in tears, and b) I had piddled myself.
Some twenty minutes later the police showed up; not entirely their fault as I apparently had not made it clear that I was out in the parking lot with this guy. They thought that I had spotted him through a window from inside, and so they had tried a stealthy approach to see if they could avoid spooking him. Both officers were occasional drinking buddies of mine and were sincerely concerned, upset, & apologetic.
They never caught the guy.
I still carry a gun...

Observations in the Aftermath:
This all happened in about maybe the space of 10 seconds; from exiting the car to the perp fleeing. It was maybe fifteen feet from my car to the stairs, I ran up four concrete steps, and my apartment door was immediately inside the security door on the right (against exterior wall). I took two or three steps into the living room and turned with drawn gun. His proximity to me was such that I firmly believe that if the slamming door had not slowed him by a half step, he may have been inside the arc of my pistol’s muzzle as I turned, and things might not have had such a favorable outcome. Certain parts of this series of events are etched in my mind in amazing detail and drawn-out slow motion, while others are gone. There’s no audio track to my memories of the incident after his initial scream from the OC spray, except for the thump from the door and the thump from his fall. I distinctly remember commencing to pull the trigger just as his arms windmilled and he fell backwards with no more than a foot between the pistol and his chest, and for a moment I thought I'd shot him until he started scrambling backwards. When he did that, I for some reason (there was no conscious decision that I remember) removed my finger from the trigger and tried to tell him to stop where he was. I have no doubt that if he had stood up or moved towards me in any way, then I would have shot him. For whatever reason, though, I couldn't do it to a person who was scrabbling desperately backwards on his behind and who then dove/rolled sideways out the door. To this day I am thankful I didn't have to kill him, but I sometimes lose sleep wondering if other, later victims may not have been as lucky.
I'm sorry for the stream of consciousness type stuff. I'm still not real coherent on this topic.

So you see, if guns could be magically 'disappeared' somehow, the only person in this instance that would have been affected would have been me. My creepy attacker apparently didn't feel he needed one; he had size and strength on his side. That's why my very personal opinion is that gun control sucks.

[Libertarian]

How about Chick Click (the old Estronet)

[Edited by Libertarian on 12-02-2000 at 11:49 PM]

[sumabich]

Tam, please send it to El Jefe's board the armed citizen. He is being sued by those A%%holes to get his mirror site which parodys their site. I don't belive that legally they have a leg to stand on but they have all the money and he doesn't. The ultimate in Economic Racisim. El is a member of TFL and posts here on occasion, we need to support him in this legal battle and probably should consider a collection to help defray his legal 1st amendment costs! P.S. thank you for the beautiful thoughts, you are appreciated.

[John Marshall]

Tamara:

That is an all too common frightening tale. You have nothing to apologize for in the telling, for stream of consciousness or anything else. You have done the telling with clarity and rational examination of the events.

You have made one small error, in my judgement. You say that you would have been the only one affected by an opposite outcome. This is not strictly true, as you state that your roommate was present and would certainly have also been affected by the BG's aggression.

Keep believing in yourself and your considerable intelligence and abilities and you will never need worry about the darker side.

I would suggest sending this to as many newspapers as you can find addresses for. Many of them may not publish it, some will and any that do will have a larger, more diverse audience than can be reached any other way.

[Libertarian]

Or Ms Magazine's board?

[4V50 Gary]

Years ago I learned what a liberal was: someone who wanted you to do something at your expense. If it cost them anything in time, effort or money, it suddenly didn't become important anymore. Nice of them to want us to lose ours lives or loved ones, isn't it?

[bestdefense357]

Tamara, send it to Ed Wolfe at http://www.sierratimes.com and tell him I said to send it. Also, send it to Angel Shamaya at KeepAndearArms.com. Put my name in the subject as he gets hundreds of emails each day. It needs a slight bit more editing, (instead of "scrabble", it should be "scramble", for instance), and I'd be glad to help if you want to contact me. Excellent, excellent artcle! Robert

[bestdefense357]

By the way, Angel's email address is [email protected] Robert

[johnr]

Tamara-- the salient point here is that you & your ex-roomie got out of the situation in one piece-- you did good!
I wish ALL law-abiding women carried a sidearm- there'd be a lot less of this harassing/stalking ( and other criminal behaviour ) and general meaness toward women. You have every right to defend yourself against an unprovoked assault from anybody-- how DARE the SOB!
I hope you'll spread this story around the 'net- it bears repeating.

[Don Gwinn]

Maybe "scuttling" is the word you're looking for, Tamara. I have a few other ideas. I'll send them to you. If you think some of them might help, use them, and if not, ignore them. If I give you advice and Robert contradicts it, listen to him. He's the one who's managed to get this sort of thing published, so his offer to help edit is valuable.

[slabsides]

One important lesson we should learn from this post: OC sucks. Glocks don't.

[Rich Lucibella]

bestdefense & Don-
Two instances on TFL wherein a check of your sources is in your best interests:
1) When questioning DC's logic
2) When questioning Tamara's grammar/syntax

To wit, a definition:

scrabble, v.i.:
1. to scrape, paw or scratch as though looking for something.
......
3. to struggle

While I am hardly a philologist, for me, words conjure images. "Scramble" indicates a fast destermined move; "Scuttle", a short shambling attempt to get from point a to point b, followed by a stop. "Scrabble", OTOH, carries with it an sense of sheer panic. While YMMV, if you get similar imagery from the word, it's the perfect verb in the context of the story. In any case, it's hardly misused.
Rich

[Correia]

This is why everybody who is capable should carry a gun. Good for you.

[Jim March]

All of the strange effects you noted, such as "spotty memory with occational perfect still image shots", the hearing loss, the fact that fine motor control was *preserved*, and that your moral sense wasn't impaired are all typical of what Jerry Pournell called an "overdrive" state.

It's way beyond a simple adrenalin dump. Most people tend to "crash" afterwards, as if they're recovering from the effects of a serious drug. I think that's pretty close to what's happening, although it's completely natural. The brain seems to be shutting down or limiting the "memory record function" to save "processing power" somehow, boosting reactions.

The FBI agent that won the final round of the Miami '86 shootout against violent bank robbers Pratt and Matix experienced the same effects. He got so messed up, he kept endlessly clicking a dry wheelgun after having obliterated the threat, because his hearing was gone and he was reduced purely to a "machine" capable of sight alignment, trigger pull and that's about it. (Then again, he was also wounded so there was shock elements going on.) I've hit it too, once in a fight and several times in motorcycle crashes or near-misses .

It should be something that will give you confidence in the future. Not everybody can hit that state; I consider it a highly beneficial place to have your head in a dire emergency. If you understand what it is and aren't afraid of it, you can "welcome" it in a pinch and proceed as necessary.

It's utterly distinct from the so-called "Berzerker rage" states, although there's some similarities. As in your case, the one time I hit "overdrive" in a fight my "moral compass" was intact. I've hit berzerker once too (age 11, schoolyard fight, I was provoked but the response...not good) and I swore a mighty oath never to let THAT happen again. Overdrive is triggered by concern for human life, yours or somebody else's. A Berzerker is fueled by rage; the memory loss is even more severe (total blackout is common) and morals go totally out the window, as does self-preservation!

You did good, and you learned something.

One last detail: it's my personal opinion that the more you hit this state, the less "crashing aftereffects" you suffer after each one. The first two left me totally fried but the last one in '97 (the sole fight-related incident for me) I was a bit jumpy afterwards but still pretty functional. I can't prove it though and I could be wrong. Remember that the exact pattern of effects varies from person to person.

Jim

[bestdefense357]

Rich, you're right. Thanks. Robert

[WAGCEVP]

Mind if I post it on WAGC's Armed Citizens' Save lives and deter crime page?

[C.R.Sam]

Tamara

1. You done good, darn good. Saved your bacon and your roomies too.

2. Careful bout lettin somebody edit your work.
.....a. Sometimes overpolish shows and detracts from credibility.
.....b. Raised the hackles on my neck as I was watching you while reading.

Sam...

[Juan Hunt Greer]

Tamara: You're one Gal I wouldn't mind having watch my back in a tight spot! You apparently go into overdrive pretty well. ( Robert Heinlein also discussed the phenomenon. ) I've gone there twice myself ( NOT in a fight, however) with only slightly different symptoms. You did GREAT. and I don't think Your piece needs ANY changes. Send it to EVERYONE who has been suggested ( especially Sierra Times)
crankshaft
Maybe I wouldn't be quite as paranoid if there were more like Tamara around.

[Edmund Rowe]

God made man short and tall.
Samuel Colt made them equal.

(man is a collective description of people here)
(Samuel Colt used here is synonymous with all modern handguns)

Edmund

[Charmedlyfe]

How come I always get the whiney girls??? I want a woman like TAMARA!!!!!

[Dave R]

Tamara, thanks for sharing this. It is a great story, well told.

I note that this is an example where pepper spray (even the "bear" stuff) did not stop the assault, but producing a firearm (without shooting) DID stop the assault. The liberals need to hear this.

[SarcasmGuy]

You did GREAT !!! Tamara.

And the moral of the story is........pepper spray works........as long as you have a glock .

[Spectre]

Glad you're with us, and hale.

[Shoeless]

Tamara, I am just now seeing this post, courtesy of our pal George, in Atlanta. What an amazing story and your recollection is so clear!

Would you mind if I forwarded it to some of my female friends via email? Thanks.

Shoeless

[MeekAndMild]

Oleg, where are you on this one? Since HCI has had a name change, liposuction and copped a fake ID you might want to target VPC instead.

How about a nice photo of Runt getting out of the car in a dark parking lot with two thugs in the background in the first scene then her showing iron and the thugs gone in the second scene and the caption: Why does the VPC want me dead?