The day the squirrel won...

hogdogs · July 3, 2009, 10:56 AM

Since a few bit finger tales comes forth from the "right tool" thread in shotgun section, I decided to share a little diddy 'bout the day the "baby" the pet squirrel and the "Meter Reader" (mr from here on out) got themselves aquainted.

So we had raised this little bugger that fell from the nest since just after some fur started and eyes were not yet fully opened... He lived a charmed life. His cage that sarted as a 2X3X4 wood frame was enlarged as he grew to become a 7 foot tall double decker condo.
Had all the amenities a squirrel would expect, hand made nest box and fresh bedding always available as he seemed like a tidy bedroom. Always peanuts and corn available and during holidays we would stock up on the mixed nuts so he usually had walnuts, brazil nuts and hazel nuts stashed all over. We would handle him often and he knew he was a spoiled little brat. Since he was a wild captured animal he still had that tendency... so I put a little sign on the cage that read "My Name Is BABY, I BITE So Watch Yer Nuts"....
I arrive home from work one day and there is blood everywhere in the carport... The walls, ceiling and obviously the floor. It looked like someone had killed and butchered a one ton bull with a claw hammer and hatchet. I look around to see evidence of B&E and possibly a dead dog or clothing items from a dog bit perp.

None was found so as the month passed I was perplexed... One day I am sittin' out there in the carport "for shade" swilling a few beers and tossin' back some of that fine mountain grown "unaged corn liquor" when the black mr shows up to read it. Black doesn't matter much but a high class respectful black man can be hilarious to hear and watch tell an exciting funny story...

So the story goes a little like this... He had been seein' "Baby" for many months and had even been bringing him candies like Bit-O-Honey or Squirrel Nut Chews and would give him a piece and poke his finger in the wire and pet the loving cuddly bugger a few minutes... On this particular month he forgot to have a piece of candy... but as a meter reader he carried little milk bone dog biscuits to make friends with customer dogs. He offered one to baby, baby took it but right when mr stuck his finger in, baby decided that the dog treat was unacceptable and showed his disdain by sinking his teeth into mr's index finger tip right behind the nail. MR instinctively jerked back but Baby didnot let go, this caused a nasty 1/4 inch wound to the bone... but wait there is more... Baby made sure he had a good oral grip now but teeth are now just 3/16ths in from tip and as mr pulled this time, the nail and tip of finger popped right off... mr goes to trying to shake the searing pain away (like a hammer strike induces on the thumb and we always shake it) and realizes there is some blood... he freaks when he sees the blood shooting 6-12 inches out of the tip and goes to runnin' around staring at it and trips over something on the floor and instinctively puts out his wounded hand to break the fall which really set the pain to raging and he jumped to his feet nearly wiping out slipping on the wet blood but caught his balance by grabbing the metal pole supporting the outside end of the roof. This set off a whole new session of hand shaking....
I asked why he didn't read and obey the sign... he said he thought it was a joke and that the squirrel had always chattered at him and seemed like a perfect angel but was now sure it was a demon seed of satan!
He described it as "What felt like an hour" before he got his composure to leave... I probably didn't do the story justice but I hope it got you a chuckle...
Brent

cornbush · July 3, 2009, 11:02 AM

I just about blew my coffee out my nose onto my keyboard. Chalk one up to the squirrel.

fisherman66 · July 3, 2009, 11:30 AM

I love a good yarn. Especially a plausible one.

hogdogs · July 3, 2009, 11:39 AM

Fisherman, I swear on everything I cherish... I didn't even have to embellish at all on this here "yarn"

I even offered the guy a beer or shot and he said "It's all good man... it was my fault." I told him the beer or shot ain't for making amends, it was a thank you for tellin' me the gut ripping funny story

!
Brent

rantingredneck · July 3, 2009, 11:58 AM

. At least I kept the tip of my thumb.......

In my case the teeth went in just at the edge of the thumb on both sides of the thumbnail. I had to pinch and pry that little bugger's jaws off me.

A PO'd squirrel is the spawn of Satan.....

FrontSight · July 6, 2009, 06:42 PM

a good reason to always carry mace...

flyguyskt · July 6, 2009, 07:46 PM

and you want me to go grab pigs with you....riiiiight...i can already see the story in print here....south dakota redneck meets fired up florida hog and gets whooped! photos inside

hogdogs · July 6, 2009, 08:00 PM

Just think of all the laughs that would get though!

Naw I wasn't home to help out the meter man. I would do all i can to keep ya safe! Wouldn't want to lose a huntin' spot cuz a life flight chopper landed in a pasture, frightening the ponies to haul out a severely wounded yankee who met the north bound end of a mad hog!

Spots are hard to come by...
Brent

langenc · July 6, 2009, 08:12 PM

When I shoot one I usually observe it-where it lays for a while. They are all teeth to be sure.

hogdogs · July 6, 2009, 08:19 PM

lang, I don't shoot hogs. we just grab 'em by the legs while the bulldog keeps the sharp end occupied... flyguy is just the latest I got itchin' to give it a whirl. It is a real rush even if you are just grabbin the stinky end

Brent

fisherman66 · July 6, 2009, 10:57 PM

Brent, you should try noodling some time. Same kind of technique, but fer fish (except yer grabbin the head end).

hogdogs · July 6, 2009, 11:03 PM

Naw! HECK NO WAY!!!! I know what else lives in them holes! The worst being a big ol' alligator snappin turtle!

I will pass on that! Heck I don't like crossin a beaver pond at night gettin to a bayed up hog! I won't wade... I swim keeping my hands and feet on top where I only have to worry about 'gators!

Brent

FrontSight · July 8, 2009, 11:20 PM

Damn good point...not to hijack, but do people not lose fingers by noodling?

srt 10 jimbo · July 8, 2009, 11:31 PM

Got a pet squirrel I raised from a baby ( she was about to get pounced on by neighbors cat) Have had her for over 2 years now. Hammy, my kids love her, my wife hates it and she's like part of the family now. dont tell wife squirrels live up to 20 years in captivity. I even made her a 5 level tower, It's the squirrel trade center.

KC9LDB · July 9, 2009, 01:42 AM

hahahahahaha! well done, great story!!!

Cope's Dist · July 31, 2009, 02:54 PM

Guess the squirrel figured if mr was gonna treat him like a dog (giving him dog biscuits) ... he was gonna act like one.

davebig · July 31, 2009, 03:14 PM

Awesome tale

July 3, 2009, 10:56 AM	#1
hogdogs Staff In Memoriam Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 11,069	The day the squirrel won... Since a few bit finger tales comes forth from the "right tool" thread in shotgun section, I decided to share a little diddy 'bout the day the "baby" the pet squirrel and the "Meter Reader" (mr from here on out) got themselves aquainted. So we had raised this little bugger that fell from the nest since just after some fur started and eyes were not yet fully opened... He lived a charmed life. His cage that sarted as a 2X3X4 wood frame was enlarged as he grew to become a 7 foot tall double decker condo. Had all the amenities a squirrel would expect, hand made nest box and fresh bedding always available as he seemed like a tidy bedroom. Always peanuts and corn available and during holidays we would stock up on the mixed nuts so he usually had walnuts, brazil nuts and hazel nuts stashed all over. We would handle him often and he knew he was a spoiled little brat. Since he was a wild captured animal he still had that tendency... so I put a little sign on the cage that read "My Name Is BABY, I BITE So Watch Yer Nuts".... I arrive home from work one day and there is blood everywhere in the carport... The walls, ceiling and obviously the floor. It looked like someone had killed and butchered a one ton bull with a claw hammer and hatchet. I look around to see evidence of B&E and possibly a dead dog or clothing items from a dog bit perp. None was found so as the month passed I was perplexed... One day I am sittin' out there in the carport "for shade" swilling a few beers and tossin' back some of that fine mountain grown "unaged corn liquor" when the black mr shows up to read it. Black doesn't matter much but a high class respectful black man can be hilarious to hear and watch tell an exciting funny story... So the story goes a little like this... He had been seein' "Baby" for many months and had even been bringing him candies like Bit-O-Honey or Squirrel Nut Chews and would give him a piece and poke his finger in the wire and pet the loving cuddly bugger a few minutes... On this particular month he forgot to have a piece of candy... but as a meter reader he carried little milk bone dog biscuits to make friends with customer dogs. He offered one to baby, baby took it but right when mr stuck his finger in, baby decided that the dog treat was unacceptable and showed his disdain by sinking his teeth into mr's index finger tip right behind the nail. MR instinctively jerked back but Baby didnot let go, this caused a nasty 1/4 inch wound to the bone... but wait there is more... Baby made sure he had a good oral grip now but teeth are now just 3/16ths in from tip and as mr pulled this time, the nail and tip of finger popped right off... mr goes to trying to shake the searing pain away (like a hammer strike induces on the thumb and we always shake it) and realizes there is some blood... he freaks when he sees the blood shooting 6-12 inches out of the tip and goes to runnin' around staring at it and trips over something on the floor and instinctively puts out his wounded hand to break the fall which really set the pain to raging and he jumped to his feet nearly wiping out slipping on the wet blood but caught his balance by grabbing the metal pole supporting the outside end of the roof. This set off a whole new session of hand shaking.... I asked why he didn't read and obey the sign... he said he thought it was a joke and that the squirrel had always chattered at him and seemed like a perfect angel but was now sure it was a demon seed of satan! He described it as "What felt like an hour" before he got his composure to leave... I probably didn't do the story justice but I hope it got you a chuckle... Brent

July 3, 2009, 11:30 AM	#3
fisherman66 Senior Member Join Date: August 22, 2005 Location: The Woodlands TX Posts: 4,686	I love a good yarn. Especially a plausible one. __________________ la plus belle des ruses du diable est de vous persuader qu'il n'existe pas!

July 3, 2009, 11:39 AM	#4
hogdogs Staff In Memoriam Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 11,069	Fisherman, I swear on everything I cherish... I didn't even have to embellish at all on this here "yarn" I even offered the guy a beer or shot and he said "It's all good man... it was my fault." I told him the beer or shot ain't for making amends, it was a thank you for tellin' me the gut ripping funny story! Brent

July 3, 2009, 11:58 AM	#5
rantingredneck Senior Member Join Date: January 12, 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 4,728	. At least I kept the tip of my thumb....... In my case the teeth went in just at the edge of the thumb on both sides of the thumbnail. I had to pinch and pry that little bugger's jaws off me. A PO'd squirrel is the spawn of Satan..... __________________ NRA Member NC Hunter's Education Instructor PCCA Member (What's PCCA you ask? <- Check the link)

July 6, 2009, 06:42 PM	#6
FrontSight Senior Member Join Date: September 9, 2005 Posts: 1,712	a good reason to always carry mace... __________________ To kill something as great as a duck just to smell the gunpowder is a crime against nature. - Alan Liere Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. - George Bernard Shaw

July 3, 2009, 11:02 AM	#2
cornbush Senior Member Join Date: September 29, 2008 Location: The retarded place below Idaho Posts: 1,408	I just about blew my coffee out my nose onto my keyboard. Chalk one up to the squirrel.

July 6, 2009, 07:46 PM	#7
flyguyskt Senior Member Join Date: April 3, 2009 Posts: 118	and you want me to go grab pigs with you....riiiiight...i can already see the story in print here....south dakota redneck meets fired up florida hog and gets whooped! photos inside

July 6, 2009, 08:00 PM	#8
hogdogs Staff In Memoriam Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 11,069	Just think of all the laughs that would get though! Naw I wasn't home to help out the meter man. I would do all i can to keep ya safe! Wouldn't want to lose a huntin' spot cuz a life flight chopper landed in a pasture, frightening the ponies to haul out a severely wounded yankee who met the north bound end of a mad hog! Spots are hard to come by... Brent

July 6, 2009, 08:12 PM	#9
langenc Senior Member Join Date: August 19, 2007 Location: Montmorency Co, MI Posts: 1,551	When I shoot one I usually observe it-where it lays for a while. They are all teeth to be sure.

July 6, 2009, 08:19 PM	#10
hogdogs Staff In Memoriam Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 11,069	lang, I don't shoot hogs. we just grab 'em by the legs while the bulldog keeps the sharp end occupied... flyguy is just the latest I got itchin' to give it a whirl. It is a real rush even if you are just grabbin the stinky end Brent

July 6, 2009, 10:57 PM	#11
fisherman66 Senior Member Join Date: August 22, 2005 Location: The Woodlands TX Posts: 4,686	Brent, you should try noodling some time. Same kind of technique, but fer fish (except yer grabbin the head end). __________________ la plus belle des ruses du diable est de vous persuader qu'il n'existe pas!

July 6, 2009, 11:03 PM	#12
hogdogs Staff In Memoriam Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 11,069	Naw! HECK NO WAY!!!! I know what else lives in them holes! The worst being a big ol' alligator snappin turtle! I will pass on that! Heck I don't like crossin a beaver pond at night gettin to a bayed up hog! I won't wade... I swim keeping my hands and feet on top where I only have to worry about 'gators! Brent

July 8, 2009, 11:20 PM	#13
FrontSight Senior Member Join Date: September 9, 2005 Posts: 1,712	Damn good point...not to hijack, but do people not lose fingers by noodling? __________________ To kill something as great as a duck just to smell the gunpowder is a crime against nature. - Alan Liere Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. - George Bernard Shaw

July 8, 2009, 11:31 PM	#14
srt 10 jimbo Senior Member Join Date: September 10, 2008 Location: Fort Lauderdale Posts: 955	Got a pet squirrel I raised from a baby ( she was about to get pounced on by neighbors cat) Have had her for over 2 years now. Hammy, my kids love her, my wife hates it and she's like part of the family now. dont tell wife squirrels live up to 20 years in captivity. I even made her a 5 level tower, It's the squirrel trade center.

July 9, 2009, 01:42 AM	#15
KC9LDB Senior Member Join Date: February 22, 2009 Location: Woodridge, IL Posts: 147	hahahahahaha! well done, great story!!!

July 31, 2009, 02:54 PM	#16
Cope's Dist Member Join Date: October 8, 2008 Location: Ohio Posts: 26	Guess the squirrel figured if mr was gonna treat him like a dog (giving him dog biscuits) ... he was gonna act like one. __________________ You can reach us at 866 523 2673 or www.copesdistributing.com

July 31, 2009, 03:14 PM	#17
davebig Member Join Date: April 9, 2009 Posts: 20	Awesome tale